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Post by soldierofChrist on May 11, 2018 8:36:17 GMT
Greatfullyfree What a horrible time you went through! Refuse to call yourself a reprobate just because a PRCA tells you you are. It is unbelievable to think he would say that without evidence but as you say simply because you are the wife and so given the husband's position in home and presumably in the PRCA he is above reproach! Oh dear how sick. But don't let them win. If you hope was in PRCA that's one thing but if your hope IS in Christ then say so:) Thank you for your kind words and thoughts Soldier of Christ. My hope IS in Christ, not the PRC. When the person whom I trusted, at that time, called me a reprobate with no chance to refute, it truly was crushing to my spirit, my soul, my emotional being. It was such a shock to my entire being, since I thought I was going for counseling, that I left there in a daze, completely drained emotionally and spiritually. I went home and sobbed for hours-I was completely crushed, despondent. Looking back, I can't believe I let them inside of my brain like that. I'm not that same person, and have come a long way to not allow them to dictate who I am. Calling myself a reprobate was my way of showing that the word and actions of a MAN do not define me, and that others can come back from their words and not only survive, but thrive. I was calling myself a reprobate in jest. I am not a reprobate, and that word, from the PRC, cannot hurt me anymore. My hope is in Christ, not the PRC. Greatfully free I am so, so happy for you! More than that I am so happy that you have shared that because it is SO encouraging. Of course it was devastating who would leave a meeting like that not affected in some way. I mean you trust these ppl and that makes you vulnerable and some more than others as we are all at different stages and have and or are going through different things.... so yes I totally understand. It makes me so annoyed that these ppl do these things and have done this to you and so many others. But the major encouragement is your fixed hope in the redemmer! Despite all of it you will serve the King because He is your strong fortress, He IS with us in the midst of it all. It doesn't always feel that way but afterwards we reflect and as you say you are now thankful for what he said because it was the catalyst to get you out of there. Providence! The providence of God. He does work in mysterious ways at times (mysterious to us but not to Himself) His wonders to perform:) May God grant you more and more wisdom and strength and humility to witness to His love and truth and goodness and all of His attributes:) Thank you so much Greatfullyfree! I am sure this will be a blessing to many on here who read this... those who are at their wits end who perhaps read but remain silent... those who are so sad and lonely and maybe have believed and continue to believe the PRCA bullies who have drilled into them a false and debilitating notion as to their perilous condition before God. Of course, we must all examine ourselves to see if we are in the faith but to have some heavy come along and bear down on you and tell you things that are not true of you and be subjected to yelling and abuse... it is too much... I loathe this behaviour! But will we loathe it enough to pray for them? By the grace of God there go I. Pray for your enemies. I just said that to myself you know.
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Post by Skyfall on May 11, 2018 13:14:07 GMT
Wow. There is a lot of hateful slanderous tales being told on this site without a shred of proof. People claiming that they were told they would go to hell for leaving the pr church... I'm sorry but I just don't believe you. I've been in this church my whole life, and the PRest of the PRs would never say such a thing. Clearly personal feelings are clouding reality here! I know this was posted months ago, but I just saw this for the first time and had to comment. Slander is spoken word falsehoods, technically you should refer to it as libel, which is written word falsehoods. Either way, just because you don't like what we are saying does not make it false. When my husband cheated on me, and we went for "counseling", I was blamed for it since I must have done something wrong to make him betray his family. I was called a reprobate and told by the pastor that he had God on his side so I shouldn't bother denying it. He was certain that I was a reprobate and let me know it with 30 minutes of yelling and Bible verses. I feel that this constitutes "going to hell", but feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. So yes, there are some personal feelings involved when someone you trust yells that at you. And yes, I am hopeful that others can learn that there is life outside of the PRC, even for a reprobate like me. Do you really believe people on this site have nothing better to do than make up these stories? Really? Think that through. You're dismissing of abuse in the church is concerning. At least have some empathy to understand the pain of these people. The assessment that christian attempts to adopt is one that tries to corner this site as a place where a person is completely bent on the PRC. By admitting to this, the PRC member is able to discount it, deny it, then completely say to themselves that this is a simple anomaly and the "vast majority" of the members are happy - so you're just wrong. The problem with this thinking is that this site has become too broad with too many members with strikingly the same abuse pattern across the users and especially across female members of the PRC. News Flash - abuse is all through the PRC - it's just covered up. It's not by chance that the PRC decided to talk about abuse in lectures. They're trying to bandaid their poor behavior because of this site. So the denial of abuse is one of two choices. Unfortunately for christian he/she chose denial. The other choice, of course, requires serious thinking as to why you're choosing to join yourself with this organization. This is a much stronger choice and requires real strength, and the "real armor of God", to actually ask yourself why abuse is acceptable. The PRC's answer is - "well we have the purest doctrines, and it's the people who sin". At what point does the abuse trump doctrine? When do YOU start living what the doctrine teaches and STOP the abuse?
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Post by maggie on May 11, 2018 16:50:20 GMT
Wow. There is a lot of hateful slanderous tales being told on this site without a shred of proof. People claiming that they were told they would go to hell for leaving the pr church... I'm sorry but I just don't believe you. I've been in this church my whole life, and the PRest of the PRs would never say such a thing. Clearly personal feelings are clouding reality here! you are oblivious to the organization you are a part of. what do you want for proof? How does someone have the right to tell another person (and a woman at that) that she is a reprobate. Is he taking on the persona of God? Christian says he doesn't believe it but I do. There are certain people, mainly men who have very strong personalities and feel the need and right to make statements like that. Women have enough to deal with in being 'in subjection to their husbands' to have to hear that. Correct me if I'm wrong that that happened
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Post by notinacult on May 11, 2018 18:11:36 GMT
Prs can and will always tell some one that they are a reprobate just ask them about it. That’s what I always thought was funny when I was pr and when some one else talk back about their religion they had nothing to say and their arguments never made sense. you are oblivious to the organization you are a part of. what do you want for proof? How does someone have the right to tell another person (and a woman at that) that she is a reprobate. Is he taking on the persona of God? Christian says he doesn't believe it but I do. There are certain people, mainly men who have very strong personalities and feel the need and right to make statements like that. Women have enough to deal with in being 'in subjection to their husbands' to have to hear that. Correct me if I'm wrong that that happened
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Post by soldierofChrist on May 11, 2018 22:16:31 GMT
I know this was posted months ago, but I just saw this for the first time and had to comment. Slander is spoken word falsehoods, technically you should refer to it as libel, which is written word falsehoods. Either way, just because you don't like what we are saying does not make it false. When my husband cheated on me, and we went for "counseling", I was blamed for it since I must have done something wrong to make him betray his family. I was called a reprobate and told by the pastor that he had God on his side so I shouldn't bother denying it. He was certain that I was a reprobate and let me know it with 30 minutes of yelling and Bible verses. I feel that this constitutes "going to hell", but feel free to correct me if I'm wrong. So yes, there are some personal feelings involved when someone you trust yells that at you. And yes, I am hopeful that others can learn that there is life outside of the PRC, even for a reprobate like me. Do you really believe people on this site have nothing better to do than make up these stories? Really? Think that through. You're dismissing of abuse in the church is concerning. At least have some empathy to understand the pain of these people. The assessment that christian attempts to adopt is one that tries to corner this site as a place where a person is completely bent on the PRC. By admitting to this, the PRC member is able to discount it, deny it, then completely say to themselves that this is a simple anomaly and the "vast majority" of the members are happy - so you're just wrong. The problem with this thinking is that this site has become too broad with too many members with strikingly the same abuse pattern across the users and especially across female members of the PRC. News Flash - abuse is all through the PRC - it's just covered up. It's not by chance that the PRC decided to talk about abuse in lectures. They're trying to bandaid their poor behavior because of this site. So the denial of abuse is one of two choices. Unfortunately for christian he/she chose denial. The other choice, of course, requires serious thinking as to why you're choosing to join yourself with this organization. This is a much stronger choice and requires real strength, and the "real armor of God", to actually ask yourself why abuse is acceptable. The PRC's answer is - "well we have the purest doctrines, and it's the people who sin". At what point does the abuse trump doctrine? When do YOU start living what the doctrine teaches and STOP the abuse? Yes, Skyfall and if I may add PRCA are NOT actually owning up to their own abuse problem... I mean not in a singular way! Rather their conference / lecture etc is abuse in the Reformed church/es! What? When did they ever speak of other places that identify as reformed as really being reformed?
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Post by Skyfall on May 11, 2018 23:24:30 GMT
The assessment that christian attempts to adopt is one that tries to corner this site as a place where a person is completely bent on the PRC. By admitting to this, the PRC member is able to discount it, deny it, then completely say to themselves that this is a simple anomaly and the "vast majority" of the members are happy - so you're just wrong. The problem with this thinking is that this site has become too broad with too many members with strikingly the same abuse pattern across the users and especially across female members of the PRC. News Flash - abuse is all through the PRC - it's just covered up. It's not by chance that the PRC decided to talk about abuse in lectures. They're trying to bandaid their poor behavior because of this site. So the denial of abuse is one of two choices. Unfortunately for christian he/she chose denial. The other choice, of course, requires serious thinking as to why you're choosing to join yourself with this organization. This is a much stronger choice and requires real strength, and the "real armor of God", to actually ask yourself why abuse is acceptable. The PRC's answer is - "well we have the purest doctrines, and it's the people who sin". At what point does the abuse trump doctrine? When do YOU start living what the doctrine teaches and STOP the abuse? Yes, Skyfall and if I may add PRCA are NOT actually owning up to their own abuse problem... I mean not in a singular way! Rather their conference / lecture etc is abuse in the Reformed church/es! What? When did they ever speak of other places that identify as reformed as really being reformed? That’s a good observation. When it comes to sin in the form of abuse, the PRC is more than happy to include the entire Reformed community. There is no use for the Reformed comminuty other than that as most are labeled as “reprobate”.
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Post by cannalily on May 12, 2018 20:17:28 GMT
That’s a good observation. When it comes to sin in the form of abuse, the PRC is more than happy to include the entire Reformed community. There is no use for the Reformed comminuty other than that as most are labeled as “reprobate”. Yeah, that "nobody's perfect" line works quite nicely with this thinking too. That's their out if denial isn't working as their excuse.
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Post by gratefullyfree on May 15, 2018 3:31:14 GMT
Yes, they like to say "Nobody's perfect" and "there is abuse in all churches", but I bet if you compared PRC to other churches, you would find that power differential helps to make abuse more possible than in other religions. And if the PRC is truly the chosen church, then they should be seeking to have their incident of abuse to be at 0%. When they start teaching respect for women and children in their catechism classes, then I may start to believe that they at least are trying to make a change.
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Post by soldierofChrist on May 16, 2018 7:55:14 GMT
And today, I'm grateful that that man called me a reprobate. It was the word that motivated me to finally leave the horrible sect I was in and start my new life. Truly God is good! He has told us ahead of time that the road can be bumpy or even at times there is no (visible) 'road'. But He will never leave nor forsake those whom He has set His love upon:)
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Post by Skyfall on May 17, 2018 12:35:49 GMT
Yes, they like to say "Nobody's perfect" and "there is abuse in all churches", but I bet if you compared PRC to other churches, you would find that power differential helps to make abuse more possible than in other religions. And if the PRC is truly the chosen church, then they should be seeking to have their incident of abuse to be at 0%. When they start teaching respect for women and children in their catechism classes, then I may start to believe that they at least are trying to make a change. This CAN'T happen because of their ties to their Three Forms of Unity problem. Any modification would be a big problem for many of them.
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Post by maggie on May 17, 2018 12:54:09 GMT
Yes, they like to say "Nobody's perfect" and "there is abuse in all churches", but I bet if you compared PRC to other churches, you would find that power differential helps to make abuse more possible than in other religions. And if the PRC is truly the chosen church, then they should be seeking to have their incident of abuse to be at 0%. When they start teaching respect for women and children in their catechism classes, then I may start to believe that they at least are trying to make a change. This CAN'T happen because of their ties to their Three Forms of Unity problem. Any modification would be a big problem for many of them. Can you explain that to me, Wings'? Thanks!
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Post by Skyfall on May 17, 2018 13:20:16 GMT
This CAN'T happen because of their ties to their Three Forms of Unity problem. Any modification would be a big problem for many of them. Can you explain that to me, Wings'? Thanks! Eating wings is my downfall! LOL ... Sure - in order to institute real change, it needs to start with catechism. The catechism courses end up studying the Heidelberg Catechism (One of the 3 forms of unity). This is the capstone of all of the catechism courses. If the thinking here is that you need to change the catechism classes, you'd have to change the entire course trajectory of young, malleable, PRC kids. That's not going to happen any time soon.
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Post by maggie on May 17, 2018 13:22:32 GMT
Can you explain that to me, Wings'? Thanks! Eating wings is my downfall! LOL ... Sure - in order to institute real change, it needs to start with catechism. The catechism courses end up studying the Heidelberg Catechism (One of the 3 forms of unity). This is the capstone of all of the catechism courses. If the thinking here is that you need to change the catechism classes, you'd have to change the entire course trajectory of young, malleable, PRC kids. That's not going to happen any time soon. Thanks!
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Post by gratefullyfree on May 17, 2018 15:10:19 GMT
Can you explain that to me, Wings'? Thanks! Eating wings is my downfall! LOL ... Sure - in order to institute real change, it needs to start with catechism. The catechism courses end up studying the Heidelberg Catechism (One of the 3 forms of unity). This is the capstone of all of the catechism courses. If the thinking here is that you need to change the catechism classes, you'd have to change the entire course trajectory of young, malleable, PRC kids. That's not going to happen any time soon. Thank you. You're right, I doubt they will change the Heidelberg catechism anytime soon. This is somewhat disheartening because it allows the cycle to perpetuate.
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Post by Feminist on May 21, 2018 0:11:31 GMT
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