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Post by KristianWrights on Feb 25, 2015 19:30:11 GMT
Hi I do not feel spiritually feed by the PR church and in the past I have felt like I was spiritually dying there because I was getting so confused about the Bible and what being Christian is all about. There are just so many contradictions and twisting of Scripture and picking and choosing Scripture, at least I think so anyways (or am I just the one misinterpreting scripture? haha can you tell I am confused?)...But I am afraid to leave the PR church because what if I go somewhere else and I still feel like I am spiritually dying, then that means there is something wrong with me and not just the church I go to. Have you visited any other churches yet? I know this is completely "illegal" to do as a PR. But I suggest visiting. I was very shocked at how welcoming other churches are. If you want to PM me I would be more than happy to give you a few names of some good churches where I felt people went out of their way to greet me and make me feel welcome. I can tell you that it was a great spiritual uplift when I worshiped because it wasn't the same routine. 30 min song and then long prayer and then a 3 point sermon and done. There was always something new and interesting to learn and listen.
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Post by guard.yourheart on Feb 25, 2015 20:04:26 GMT
I have visited other churches and it has been uplifting. Right now, on Sundays I dread going to the PR church. I want to want to go to church. So I just thought if I go to a different church I hope that that will happen. I just wondered if I should stay in the PR church and wait for myself to want to get out of bed in the morning and go there... I married into it...
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Post by guard.yourheart on Feb 25, 2015 20:56:50 GMT
so at the time I joined it was just another thing to do on my check list before I could get married to the man of my dreams who is now my husband. I know joining was wrong at the time but I was blinded by love but im afraid if we leave, which we are considering, it will ruin his life so to speak. so wondering if I should just be more adaptable and try harder to like the PR church even though I am disturbed by some things that go on there.
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Post by cannalily on Feb 25, 2015 21:06:44 GMT
so at the time I joined it was just another thing to do on my check list before I could get married to the man of my dreams who is now my husband. I know joining was wrong at the time but I was blinded by love but im afraid if we leave, which we are considering, it will ruin his life so to speak. so wondering if I should just be more adaptable and try harder to like the PR church even though I am disturbed by some things that go on there. This sounds like a fairly typical trend in the PRC. I've seen this personally in my own life, and now I see it with my relatives still caught in this. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. I can't speak for you, but I can say that I struggled with this for years! I finally made the plunge, and truthfully, it was the best decision that I've ever made in regard to my spiritual life. It wasn't easy though. I got deathly ill due to the stress. At the end of the day, however, it's the healthiest thing you can do. Living with this silly thorn in your side is the worst. On the flip side, however, the idle threats, charges, "church papers", and shunning, is quite comical looking back - but scary when you're going through it. The fear that they'll conjure up will be much larger than the actual bite. The best thing is when you see them again years later (at funerals, for example) they can barely look at you in the face. They'll turn their body as if they don't see you. And you'll be able to talk to everyone in the room. It will be the shunning people who won't talk to everyone because they can't. They won't have the guts to stand up to you. That's pretty empowering, if you ask me.
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Post by cannalily on Feb 25, 2015 21:12:49 GMT
I have visited other churches and it has been uplifting. Right now, on Sundays I dread going to the PR church. I want to want to go to church. So I just thought if I go to a different church I hope that that will happen. I just wondered if I should stay in the PR church and wait for myself to want to get out of bed in the morning and go there... I married into it... Wow. You completely described me some 15 years ago! I had the IDENTICAL feelings come Sunday mornings. That really brings back some horrible memories for me. My entire body was saying "NO" to this twice-on-Sunday ritual.
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Post by crusader on Feb 26, 2015 0:19:57 GMT
so at the time I joined it was just another thing to do on my check list before I could get married to the man of my dreams who is now my husband. I know joining was wrong at the time but I was blinded by love but im afraid if we leave, which we are considering, it will ruin his life so to speak. so wondering if I should just be more adaptable and try harder to like the PR church even though I am disturbed by some things that go on there. I know exactly those feelings.
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Post by freefromprc on Feb 26, 2015 0:29:29 GMT
so at the time I joined it was just another thing to do on my check list before I could get married to the man of my dreams who is now my husband. I know joining was wrong at the time but I was blinded by love but im afraid if we leave, which we are considering, it will ruin his life so to speak. so wondering if I should just be more adaptable and try harder to like the PR church even though I am disturbed by some things that go on there. This is more common than anyone will admit. Its a shame that so much pressure is put on members. Just remember that the longer you are there, the harder it is to leave, and I would rather live what I believe and speak freely of it, than live in a depressing church pretending outwardly that I want to be there, but I am stifling inside every day. And....I do not believe that God appreciates it - at all.
I can tell you that leaving was the biggest mental release that I have ever experienced. And once out, I look back and kick myself that I did not leave many years ago.
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Post by Outforever on Feb 26, 2015 2:02:06 GMT
so at the time I joined it was just another thing to do on my check list before I could get married to the man of my dreams who is now my husband. I know joining was wrong at the time but I was blinded by love but im afraid if we leave, which we are considering, it will ruin his life so to speak. so wondering if I should just be more adaptable and try harder to like the PR church even though I am disturbed by some things that go on there. Take it from someone who's been in the PR church over 50 years and regrets raising children there. I wish I would have left years ago so my children aren't in the same circle I was in. If it's family issues of shunning that would ruin your husband's life then I understand that would be very hard. But if it's just the fear of a different life, try to convince him. Maybe start by going to another church in the morning and then the PR church at night (at least you won't have to listen to the Heidelberg Catechism sermon every week)! Many people who post on this board talk about how free they feel and happy and feel genuine love of Christ in them and for others. I don't have that feeling. I have family members who have left and they tell me you won't know the great feeling in your heart until you leave. It's like a huge burden off your shoulders. I'm looking forward to that day.
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Post by freefromprc on Feb 26, 2015 2:32:08 GMT
so at the time I joined it was just another thing to do on my check list before I could get married to the man of my dreams who is now my husband. I know joining was wrong at the time but I was blinded by love but im afraid if we leave, which we are considering, it will ruin his life so to speak. so wondering if I should just be more adaptable and try harder to like the PR church even though I am disturbed by some things that go on there. Take it from someone who's been in the PR church over 50 years and regrets raising children there. I wish I would have left years ago so my children aren't in the same circle I was in. If it's family issues of shunning that would ruin your husband's life then I understand that would be very hard. But if it's just the fear of a different life, try to convince him. Maybe start by going to another church in the morning and then the PR church at night (at least you won't have to listen to the Heidelberg Catechism sermon every week)! Many people who post on this board talk about how free they feel and happy and feel genuine love of Christ in them and for others. I don't have that feeling. I have family members who have left and they tell me you won't know the great feeling in your heart until you leave. It's like a huge burden off your shoulders. I'm looking forward to that day. This post says it. There will be plenty of people reading this, they wish they could do it, but they can't deal the thought of leaving and being rejected, shamed, discussed, pitied.....if these are your fears, then why would you want to be around such people?
Even more, why bring your children up in this church? You WILL lose your children if you bring them up there and then decide to leave. FACT. It's a twisted nasty cycle.
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Post by guard.yourheart on Feb 26, 2015 3:34:55 GMT
Thanks for the advice everyone. Yes if we left it would ruin his family relationships I think. He said he is also scared of the unknown like if we would pick the right church after we left. I am patiently waiting for him to make his decision since as you know I am the wife so I sit with a shawl over my head in the corner. No no just kidding. I have tons of respect for him its just fun to say whatever I want.
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Post by Joacom on Feb 26, 2015 4:41:00 GMT
Hi I do not feel spiritually feed by the PR church and in the past I have felt like I was spiritually dying there because I was getting so confused about the Bible and what being Christian is all about. There are just so many contradictions and twisting of Scripture and picking and choosing Scripture, at least I think so anyways (or am I just the one misinterpreting scripture? haha can you tell I am confused?)...But I am afraid to leave the PR church because what if I go somewhere else and I still feel like I am spiritually dying, then that means there is something wrong with me and not just the church I go to. The Gospel is the power of God that releases the effects of salvation in our lives.The truths of the Gospel are not commonly preached or understood in PRC. This is the reason people affliated to PRC a are not walking in all the benefits of their salvation. They don't have the power of the Gospel working in them. For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. (Romans 1:16)
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Post by scared2bknown on Feb 26, 2015 5:14:04 GMT
Hi I do not feel spiritually feed by the PR church and in the past I have felt like I was spiritually dying there because I was getting so confused about the Bible and what being Christian is all about. There are just so many contradictions and twisting of Scripture and picking and choosing Scripture, at least I think so anyways (or am I just the one misinterpreting scripture? haha can you tell I am confused?)...But I am afraid to leave the PR church because what if I go somewhere else and I still feel like I am spiritually dying, then that means there is something wrong with me and not just the church I go to. The Gospel is the power of God that releases the effects of salvation in our lives.The truths of the Gospel are not commonly preached or understood in PRC. This is the reason people affliated to PRC a are not walking in all the benefits of their salvation. They don't have the power of the Gospel working in them. For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation to every one that believeth; to the Jew first, and also to the Greek. (Romans 1:16)
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Post by scared2bknown on Feb 26, 2015 5:30:04 GMT
I am new to this forum and have been a member of the PRC for the last 32 years. I also married the man of my dreams and was not "born and bred" so the PRC was new to me when I first joined the church. I'm hear to tell you the ridicule of other religions and anything that is slightly different thinking than the PR doctrine and rules was very shocking and still is. I guess I find myself just going through the motions every Sunday. The sermons are all the same, the music is all the same. I'm just not being fed my the word, but, you learn to paste a smile on your face, act like you belong and just go along for the ride. Because of the fear of losing family and very dear friends I feel we are unable to leave. I'm desperately afraid to even discuss a different view other than the PR view with anyone at our church. This forum is a great outlet for frustrations with the PRC. I don't dare join discussion groups or Bible studies within the church for fear my actual feelings will come out. You can't argue with a hardcore PR or even have a civil discussion because they are always right. There really isn't any other way of thinking in their eyes.
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Post by cannalily on Feb 26, 2015 11:46:06 GMT
I am new to this forum and have been a member of the PRC for the last 32 years. I also married the man of my dreams and was not "born and bred" so the PRC was new to me when I first joined the church. I'm hear to tell you the ridicule of other religions and anything that is slightly different thinking than the PR doctrine and rules was very shocking and still is. I guess I find myself just going through the motions every Sunday. The sermons are all the same, the music is all the same. I'm just not being fed my the word, but, you learn to paste a smile on your face, act like you belong and just go along for the ride. Because of the fear of losing family and very dear friends I feel we are unable to leave. I'm desperately afraid to even discuss a different view other than the PR view with anyone at our church. This forum is a great outlet for frustrations with the PRC. I don't dare join discussion groups or Bible studies within the church for fear my actual feelings will come out. You can't argue with a hardcore PR or even have a civil discussion because they are always right. There really isn't any other way of thinking in their eyes. So if you leave, here's what will definitely go down. Be prepared for this. Undoubtedly, YOU will feel the brunt of this, because it will be you who lead your husband astray. At least that's what the story will be. It will be you who were never a believer, or so they will say. And your darling husband will have done nothing wrong but marry one who went apostate. Just be prepared for that. My guess is that this thought process will become the truth about you two. Quite possibly his family, his parent's and siblings (not sure if he has any here, just covering bases) will shun him, and in turn, definitely you. Because they will blame all his wrong doings on you. His parent's will question what they did wrong, and ultimately the blame will fall on you. This totally happened in my family, and as a young kid, I had to follow suit.
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Post by freefromprc on Feb 26, 2015 13:48:16 GMT
I am new to this forum and have been a member of the PRC for the last 32 years. I also married the man of my dreams and was not "born and bred" so the PRC was new to me when I first joined the church. I'm hear to tell you the ridicule of other religions and anything that is slightly different thinking than the PR doctrine and rules was very shocking and still is. I guess I find myself just going through the motions every Sunday. The sermons are all the same, the music is all the same. I'm just not being fed my the word, but, you learn to paste a smile on your face, act like you belong and just go along for the ride. Because of the fear of losing family and very dear friends I feel we are unable to leave. I'm desperately afraid to even discuss a different view other than the PR view with anyone at our church. This forum is a great outlet for frustrations with the PRC. I don't dare join discussion groups or Bible studies within the church for fear my actual feelings will come out. You can't argue with a hardcore PR or even have a civil discussion because they are always right. There really isn't any other way of thinking in their eyes. The last part of your post stated exactly how the PRC controls women. No job, no career, no money, many children, no where to go, lose your friends, lose your family. It is the power of this man run organization. Women are cherished...only if they follow the man made rules. If not they are looked upon as someone to be wary of.
Then, by leaving, your husband will likely drag his feet, because he was born there, and runs the risk of losing his family, and it will possibly drive a wedge between you. I suspect your own family who is not PR will accept you with open arms tho, and this is something to consider.
You seem to have lost your spiritual drive and are treading water. This is not a safe place to be, mentally or spiritually. And, there is no one to talk to about it (in the church) you will be view as a dangerous person.
All these things are what the imprisoning walls of the PR church are made from. What you may consider doing is visiting one other church each Sunday or every other. Your husband can come with or attend PRC. Treat him with love and respect, but do not deny your soul.
Many people here completely understand your experience, but also are afraid to voice it. It is sad, but there is hope if you slowly make changes. It works I did it and others have as well. I have not heard one person say they left and are sorry they did. Its an important observation.
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