seeker
Seminary Student
Posts: 351 
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Post by seeker on Feb 26, 2015 16:59:03 GMT
so at the time I joined it was just another thing to do on my check list before I could get married to the man of my dreams who is now my husband. I know joining was wrong at the time but I was blinded by love  but im afraid if we leave, which we are considering, it will ruin his life so to speak. so wondering if I should just be more adaptable and try harder to like the PR church even though I am disturbed by some things that go on there. Take it from someone who's been in the PR church over 50 years and regrets raising children there. I wish I would have left years ago so my children aren't in the same circle I was in. If it's family issues of shunning that would ruin your husband's life then I understand that would be very hard. But if it's just the fear of a different life, try to convince him. Maybe start by going to another church in the morning and then the PR church at night (at least you won't have to listen to the Heidelberg Catechism sermon every week)! Many people who post on this board talk about how free they feel and happy and feel genuine love of Christ in them and for others. I don't have that feeling. I have family members who have left and they tell me you won't know the great feeling in your heart until you leave. It's like a huge burden off your shoulders. I'm looking forward to that day. "I wish I would have left years ago so my children aren't in the same circle I was in." This is what the PRC calls internal growth. I wonder what my children would be like if they had not had this influence.
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Post by cannalily on Feb 26, 2015 17:11:56 GMT
I am new to this forum and have been a member of the PRC for the last 32 years. I also married the man of my dreams and was not "born and bred" so the PRC was new to me when I first joined the church. I'm hear to tell you the ridicule of other religions and anything that is slightly different thinking than the PR doctrine and rules was very shocking and still is. I guess I find myself just going through the motions every Sunday. The sermons are all the same, the music is all the same. I'm just not being fed my the word, but, you learn to paste a smile on your face, act like you belong and just go along for the ride. Because of the fear of losing family and very dear friends I feel we are unable to leave. I'm desperately afraid to even discuss a different view other than the PR view with anyone at our church. This forum is a great outlet for frustrations with the PRC. I don't dare join discussion groups or Bible studies within the church for fear my actual feelings will come out. You can't argue with a hardcore PR or even have a civil discussion because they are always right. There really isn't any other way of thinking in their eyes. The last part of your post stated exactly how the PRC controls women. No job, no career, no money, many children, no where to go, lose your friends, lose your family. It is the power of this man run organization. Women are cherished...only if they follow the man made rules. If not they are looked upon as someone to be wary of.
Then, by leaving, your husband will likely drag his feet, because he was born there, and runs the risk of losing his family, and it will possibly drive a wedge between you. I suspect your own family who is not PR will accept you with open arms tho, and this is something to consider.
You seem to have lost your spiritual drive and are treading water. This is not a safe place to be, mentally or spiritually. And, there is no one to talk to about it (in the church) you will be view as a dangerous person.
All these things are what the imprisoning walls of the PR church are made from. What you may consider doing is visiting one other church each Sunday or every other. Your husband can come with or attend PRC. Treat him with love and respect, but do not deny your soul.
Many people here completely understand your experience, but also are afraid to voice it. It is sad, but there is hope if you slowly make changes. It works I did it and others have as well. I have not heard one person say they left and are sorry they did. Its an important observation.
This. |
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Post by guard.yourheart on Feb 26, 2015 18:20:16 GMT
We actually tried visiting another church for a little bit every other time to try to figure things out and we eventually got a couple calls wondering why we weren't in church every time. they were nice about it but it was not okay. so that was the end of that. I just almost feel like its not their fault because if that's all you've been exposed to and told over and over that other denominations have false teachings well then that's what you genuinely think.
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Post by guard.yourheart on Feb 26, 2015 20:53:06 GMT
Let me clarify something. I don't think the PR church has false doctrines generally. Doctrines come from the Bible and the Bible is true so generally doctrines are true except their is possibility of untruth because they are human made and not God breathed. I'm not sure what is considered a doctrine and what is considered just a teaching. There are teachings I disagree with and there are things in the church order I disagree with. The problem with it is what is preached off the pulpit sometimes, the man made rules, the pride. These sorts of things have led to false teachings. Yes, pride is preached against, but the underlying message tempts people to look down their noses at outsiders. Legalism has spread like a disease and this legalism is preached off the pulpit in some way in many sermons. It has pushed people towards works righteousness. We focus on Jesus being the Lord of our life, but forget that Jesus is also the Savior of our life. We are free to live! Jesus has come so that we may have life and have it to the full! Not to do whatever we want, but you get the point.
I guess what I am saying is that in general the beliefs of the PRC are good and I appreciate things I have been taught here for one the fact that God is SO Holy, but the things that go on there and the hiding behind facades show that there is a serious sickness that needs to be addressed. How did the PR church become this way? When did it start? Is there some hidden agenda behind it? I know I don't have it altogether and I know I think wrong things, but there is something disturbing going on here.
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Post by Joacom on Feb 26, 2015 22:25:38 GMT
Let me clarify something. I don't think the PR church has false doctrines generally. Doctrines come from the Bible and the Bible is true so generally doctrines are true except their is possibility of untruth because they are human made and not God breathed. I'm not sure what is considered a doctrine and what is considered just a teaching. There are teachings I disagree with and there are things in the church order I disagree with. The problem with it is what is preached off the pulpit sometimes, the man made rules, the pride. These sorts of things have led to false teachings. Yes, pride is preached against, but the underlying message tempts people to look down their noses at outsiders. Legalism has spread like a disease and this legalism is preached off the pulpit in some way in many sermons. It has pushed people towards works righteousness. We focus on Jesus being the Lord of our life, but forget that Jesus is also the Savior of our life. We are free to live! Jesus has come so that we may have life and have it to the full! Not to do whatever we want, but you get the point. I guess what I am saying is that in general the beliefs of the PRC are good and I appreciate things I have been taught here for one the fact that God is SO Holy, but the things that go on there and the hiding behind facades show that there is a serious sickness that needs to be addressed. How did the PR church become this way? When did it start? Is there some hidden agenda behind it? I know I don't have it altogether and I know I think wrong things, but there is something disturbing going on here.
PRC fails the marks of the true church. It has a form of godliness but not the gospel of the LORD Jesus Christ. The true Church of The LORD Jesus Christ is composed of all born-again believers in the LORD Jesus Christ, regardless of denominational affiliation. Does PRC sound like one?
In brief,PRC was formed in 1924 when Herman Hoeksema was ousted from the Christian Reformed Church (CRC) and gathered those who left with him, who were effectively rebels to the CRC. Hoeksema and his ejected colleague effectively appointed themselves as ministers (with the consent of their new congregation) and developed a new denomination( PRCA). Thus at the beginning they had no authority at all from a mother institution. Yet they now claim that people starting new churches have no authority to exist and teachers in such churches have no authority to teach. Saying that true ministry only derives from a central source and that source is the PRC,someone who is not in a PRC church cannot be certain or sure of their salvation.All churches around the world are apostates because their teaching is unsound. Members of these churches cannot discern sound teaching and many more.Although they will deny this, their teaching and in practice that is what they mean
PRC is the only safe church. such a claim is cultic and stands condemned.
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Post by freefromprc on Feb 27, 2015 3:30:51 GMT
Let me clarify something. I don't think the PR church has false doctrines generally. Doctrines come from the Bible and the Bible is true so generally doctrines are true except their is possibility of untruth because they are human made and not God breathed. I'm not sure what is considered a doctrine and what is considered just a teaching. There are teachings I disagree with and there are things in the church order I disagree with. The problem with it is what is preached off the pulpit sometimes, the man made rules, the pride. These sorts of things have led to false teachings. Yes, pride is preached against, but the underlying message tempts people to look down their noses at outsiders. Legalism has spread like a disease and this legalism is preached off the pulpit in some way in many sermons. It has pushed people towards works righteousness. We focus on Jesus being the Lord of our life, but forget that Jesus is also the Savior of our life. We are free to live! Jesus has come so that we may have life and have it to the full! Not to do whatever we want, but you get the point. I guess what I am saying is that in general the beliefs of the PRC are good and I appreciate things I have been taught here for one the fact that God is SO Holy, but the things that go on there and the hiding behind facades show that there is a serious sickness that needs to be addressed. How did the PR church become this way? When did it start? Is there some hidden agenda behind it? I know I don't have it altogether and I know I think wrong things, but there is something disturbing going on here.
PRC fails the marks of the true church. It has a form of godliness but not the gospel of the LORD Jesus Christ. The true Church of The LORD Jesus Christ is composed of all born-again believers in the LORD Jesus Christ, regardless of denominational affiliation. Does PRC sound like one?
In brief,PRC was formed in 1924 when Herman Hoeksema was ousted from the Christian Reformed Church (CRC) and gathered those who left with him, who were effectively rebels to the CRC. Hoeksema and his ejected colleague effectively appointed themselves as ministers (with the consent of their new congregation) and developed a new denomination( PRCA). Thus at the beginning they had no authority at all from a mother institution. Yet they now claim that people starting new churches have no authority to exist and teachers in such churches have no authority to teach. Saying that true ministry only derives from a central source and that source is the PRC,someone who is not in a PRC church cannot be certain or sure of their salvation.All churches around the world are apostates because their teaching is unsound. Members of these churches cannot discern sound teaching and many more.Although they will deny this, their teaching and in practice that is what they mean
PRC is the only safe church. such a claim is cultic and stands condemned.
Interesting. Also heard Herman Hanko say that the United States will be judged for disobeying Britain in the revolutionary war. Yet Herman Hoeksema and his gang can revolt, and, without being 'officially' sent by the church just start a new church. There are so many conflicts in the PRC that people don't discuss and address. The 'good' things are what people are trained to discuss, the real problems are buried....Even on this forum people are careful to back pedal, simply because it is so unnatural and scary to speak out against them. |
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Post by crusader on Feb 27, 2015 4:31:05 GMT
Let me clarify something. I don't think the PR church has false doctrines generally. Doctrines come from the Bible and the Bible is true so generally doctrines are true except their is possibility of untruth because they are human made and not God breathed. I'm not sure what is considered a doctrine and what is considered just a teaching. There are teachings I disagree with and there are things in the church order I disagree with. The problem with it is what is preached off the pulpit sometimes, the man made rules, the pride. These sorts of things have led to false teachings. Yes, pride is preached against, but the underlying message tempts people to look down their noses at outsiders. Legalism has spread like a disease and this legalism is preached off the pulpit in some way in many sermons. It has pushed people towards works righteousness. We focus on Jesus being the Lord of our life, but forget that Jesus is also the Savior of our life. We are free to live! Jesus has come so that we may have life and have it to the full! Not to do whatever we want, but you get the point. I guess what I am saying is that in general the beliefs of the PRC are good and I appreciate things I have been taught here for one the fact that God is SO Holy, but the things that go on there and the hiding behind facades show that there is a serious sickness that needs to be addressed. How did the PR church become this way? When did it start? Is there some hidden agenda behind it? I know I don't have it altogether and I know I think wrong things, but there is something disturbing going on here.
PRC fails the marks of the true church. It has a form of godliness but not the gospel of the LORD Jesus Christ. The true Church of The LORD Jesus Christ is composed of all born-again believers in the LORD Jesus Christ, regardless of denominational affiliation. Does PRC sound like one?
In brief,PRC was formed in 1924 when Herman Hoeksema was ousted from the Christian Reformed Church (CRC) and gathered those who left with him, who were effectively rebels to the CRC. Hoeksema and his ejected colleague effectively appointed themselves as ministers (with the consent of their new congregation) and developed a new denomination( PRCA). Thus at the beginning they had no authority at all from a mother institution. Yet they now claim that people starting new churches have no authority to exist and teachers in such churches have no authority to teach. Saying that true ministry only derives from a central source and that source is the PRC,someone who is not in a PRC church cannot be certain or sure of their salvation.All churches around the world are apostates because their teaching is unsound. Members of these churches cannot discern sound teaching and many more.Although they will deny this, their teaching and in practice that is what they mean
PRC is the only safe church. such a claim is cultic and stands condemned.
Your first sentence says it. |
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Post by crusader on Feb 27, 2015 4:33:39 GMT
We actually tried visiting another church for a little bit every other time to try to figure things out and we eventually got a couple calls wondering why we weren't in church every time. they were nice about it but it was not okay. so that was the end of that. I just almost feel like its not their fault because if that's all you've been exposed to and told over and over that other denominations have false teachings well then that's what you genuinely think. It would be nice of instead of being afraid that you will leave, that they would encourage you to explore what is out there with the confidence that you will return because you will see that they are the best. After all, if God is drawing you to the truth, you will end up in the PRC if it is THE true church. What are they afraid of? |
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seeker
Seminary Student
Posts: 351
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Post by seeker on Feb 27, 2015 5:08:49 GMT
Yeh one pastor told my friend... If your depressed just stop what your doing... Lol come on! His family was disowning him because he was leaving "the church" Always the fault of the individual. The PRC can do no wrong. |
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Post by guard.yourheart on Mar 1, 2015 21:56:27 GMT
I am looking for advice for finding a new church. Where do all you people go to church now and why do you think God led you there?
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 1, 2015 22:27:38 GMT
Welcome to the realities of the hard work of growing spiritually. Sounds like you've hit a growth spurt and you are sensing the need for spiritual substance. Yep, I know about the confusion. So, just maybe focus on Proverbs and the 4 Gospels. Ask Jesus to make Himself known to you through the Word...and wait and watch. He'll NOT let you down, I promise. He shows up when you ask, and does this in very loving and creative ways. Just ask for eyes to see and ears to hear my friend. He's able. Trust me. I know. I walk with Jesus daily and He's yet to let me down. Joy always comes in the morning, even if the night is long. I have always felt that one is fed where their spiritual joy is nurtured. Joy comes from gratitude. Gratitude comes from appreciation of a gift given or offered. Joy nurtures strength. So, perhaps you go find some scripture verses...like the Gospel stories...of go read Intimate Moments with the Savior, a great meditational prayer guide. There is LOTS of good nutrients for growing and which birth joy's strength and afford new dimensions and opportunities for gratitude. Please, don't be afraid as it's a waste of time AND is just a distraction. Try to be be anxious for nothing. Give God a thank offering (emotionally expensive perhaps) especially during this tricky time and thank God for being faithful to show you His word. Go and worship God as you understand Him ... find a community of people who know how to Love. AND remember...People who have been forgiven much, LOVE MUCH. That's my to bits. |
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Post by Joacom on Mar 2, 2015 0:59:37 GMT
I am looking for advice for finding a new church. Where do all you people go to church now and why do you think God led you there? To add on what Oak tree said bellow. I would encourage you to start seriously praying about it, you do not need special memorized prayer doing that in your prayers talk to GOD in your own words from the bottom of your heart.Pure out your heart to HIM.Ask the Holy Ghost in the might name of Jesus Christ to direct,guide and place you in the church where you will continue to grow in your walk with the LORD. GOD is your father,God isn’t angry with you and is not holding your sins against you. Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.Isaiah 1:18
The best way to learn praying is by starting to pray. You can have fellowship with the LORD when you are walking, when driving your car, at your place of work or any where. Stand still and ask him what to do next. Do not stop until you get the answer. Get Bible scriptures that directly speak to your situation and personalized it into your personal prayers.For Example there i sno condemnation in me for I am in the Christ,Romans 8:1 ,For he said he will never leave me no forsake me so I say with Confidence the LORD is my helper Hebrew 13:5, you speak Bible scriptures:Lord Jesus, You came into the world not to judge the world, but that it might be saved through You. And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which I must be saved. You are able to keep me from stumbling and to make me stand in the presence of Your glory, blameless with great joy! And so to the only God, our Savior - through Yourself, my Lord Jesus Christ - be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority; before all time, and now, and forever. Amen.John 3:17; Acts 4:12; Jude 24,25 GOD answers prayers. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2015 2:01:20 GMT
I am looking for advice for finding a new church. Where do all you people go to church now and why do you think God led you there? To add on what Oak tree said bellow. I would encourage you to start seriously praying about it, you do not need special memorized prayer doing that in your prayers talk to GOD in your own words from the bottom of your heart.Pure out your heart to HIM.Ask the Holy Ghost in the might name of Jesus Christ to direct,guide and place you in the church where you will continue to grow in your walk with the LORD. GOD is your father,God isn’t angry with you and is not holding your sins against you. Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.Isaiah 1:18
The best way to learn praying is by starting to pray. You can have fellowship with the LORD when you are walking, when driving your car, at your place of work or any where. Stand still and ask him what to do next. Do not stop until you get the answer. Get Bible scriptures that directly speak to your situation and personalized it into your personal prayers.For Example there i sno condemnation in me for I am in the Christ,Romans 8:1 ,For he said he will never leave me no forsake me so I say with Confidence the LORD is my helper Hebrew 13:5, you speak Bible scriptures:Lord Jesus, You came into the world not to judge the world, but that it might be saved through You. And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which I must be saved. You are able to keep me from stumbling and to make me stand in the presence of Your glory, blameless with great joy! And so to the only God, our Savior - through Yourself, my Lord Jesus Christ - be glory, majesty, dominion, and authority; before all time, and now, and forever. Amen.John 3:17; Acts 4:12; Jude 24,25 GOD answers prayers. |
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 2, 2015 2:04:29 GMT
See? Rev said it so well. You can also always just cry out for Jesus to help you...with no fancy scripture to pray just yet, that "fancyness" can grow in you later as the Spirit informs you. Take heart friend....just cry out! He will answer in the way that YOU can hear, for He IS your shepherd and you know His voice.
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Post by scared2bknown on Mar 2, 2015 2:53:07 GMT
I am looking for advice for finding a new church. Where do all you people go to church now and why do you think God led you there? Wow, great advice here. I am in your shoes as well. I can see the hubby is religiously restless. He's the one that has to make the plunge for us. If I am the one that makes the first move in changing churches, I will be to blame as I wasn't PR to begin with. |
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but im afraid if we leave, which we are considering, it will ruin his life so to speak. so wondering if I should just be more adaptable and try harder to like the PR church even though I am disturbed by some things that go on there.
