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Post by freefromprc on Aug 19, 2015 2:43:30 GMT
When we made the decision to leave, we reached out to several friends that had already taken that road. We asked for advice. Their advice was to leave on a positive note, if possible. To translate, do not tell the elders or ministers what you believe to be wrong about the PRC. If you engage them in this way, they will feel the need to engage you in a discussion and attempt to correct you. Their ultimate goal is to place you under discipline so that you feel that you can't leave. They may eventually let you go once they tire of not being able to convince you. If they can get you to stay, it means more time for them to "work" with you (aka brainwash you). During this time, they will treat you horribly. They will not try to win you over with love, kindness, acceptance. They will abuse you, shun you and then at another time harass you. They will show up at your house and harass you (the wife) even when your husband is not home. They will treat your children like garbage. They will mess with you so badly that you won't know which way is up or down. It is better to put a smile on your face, act like everything is fine, say you love the PRC (even if you hate it), and say you've found a new church home. Do not, under any circumstances, tell them why you are dissatisfied. It will only end badly. They love it. No sleepy council members when there is a good discipline case. Tell them the reason you are leaving is because the pews are uncomfortable and leave. They have an answer for any reason you come up with. You will waste your time arguing. Remember, you are dealing with cult members who are formulating an opposite response to your comments while you are still speaking. Mind numbed pre programmed non thinking prc puppets.
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Post by guard.yourheart on Aug 20, 2015 13:02:55 GMT
They love it. No sleepy council members when there is a good discipline case. Tell them the reason you are leaving is because the pews are uncomfortable and leave. They have an answer for any reason you come up with. You will waste your time arguing. Remember, you are dealing with cult members who are formulating an opposite response to your comments while you are still speaking. Mind numbed pre programmed non thinking prc puppets. Oh goodness, that gave me a good laugh. Can you imagine the looks on their faces? Haha. Or answering some nosy woman's question with that answer... oh man, that is good stuff right there. The reasons that we gave them, they just pretty much blew off and justified why it is okay. For instance the whole PR pride thing and looking down on others, they said that they see what we mean, but that this is why it happens... because they are the ones with the truth. The other thing was when we tried to say that the church has become kind of an idol because the PR church trusts in the fact that they have the truth, then he just blew that off too. And I did actually quote an untruth of one of the professors and they recognized that it wasn't truth (it was funny to see them squirm), but they just responded by saying that is an extreme. Yes it would have been better to just say the pews are uncomfortable lol. I think that they will never see it from a different viewpoint. Its futile. On the positive side though, they were really nice and they said that we have to make the decision about where the truth is for us and they can't make that decision for us. They weren't pressuring in any way. Anyways woohoo were free! P.s. The sex is way better after you leave too haha just kidding...but seriously.
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Post by freefromprc on Aug 27, 2015 12:55:45 GMT
Oh goodness, that gave me a good laugh. Can you imagine the looks on their faces? Haha. Or answering some nosy woman's question with that answer... oh man, that is good stuff right there. The reasons that we gave them, they just pretty much blew off and justified why it is okay. For instance the whole PR pride thing and looking down on others, they said that they see what we mean, but that this is why it happens... because they are the ones with the truth. The other thing was when we tried to say that the church has become kind of an idol because the PR church trusts in the fact that they have the truth, then he just blew that off too. And I did actually quote an untruth of one of the professors and they recognized that it wasn't truth (it was funny to see them squirm), but they just responded by saying that is an extreme. Yes it would have been better to just say the pews are uncomfortable lol. I think that they will never see it from a different viewpoint. Its futile. On the positive side though, they were really nice and they said that we have to make the decision about where the truth is for us and they can't make that decision for us. They weren't pressuring in any way. Anyways woohoo were free! P.s. The sex is way better after you leave too haha just kidding...but seriously.
Would like to hear about your progress...?
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Post by crazychurch on Aug 29, 2015 22:23:36 GMT
Oh goodness, that gave me a good laugh. Can you imagine the looks on their faces? Haha. Or answering some nosy woman's question with that answer... oh man, that is good stuff right there. The reasons that we gave them, they just pretty much blew off and justified why it is okay. For instance the whole PR pride thing and looking down on others, they said that they see what we mean, but that this is why it happens... because they are the ones with the truth. The other thing was when we tried to say that the church has become kind of an idol because the PR church trusts in the fact that they have the truth, then he just blew that off too. And I did actually quote an untruth of one of the professors and they recognized that it wasn't truth (it was funny to see them squirm), but they just responded by saying that is an extreme. Yes it would have been better to just say the pews are uncomfortable lol. I think that they will never see it from a different viewpoint. Its futile. On the positive side though, they were really nice and they said that we have to make the decision about where the truth is for us and they can't make that decision for us. They weren't pressuring in any way. Anyways woohoo were free! P.s. The sex is way better after you leave too haha just kidding...but seriously.
So? How's it going?
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Post by guard.yourheart on Aug 31, 2017 3:25:17 GMT
The reasons that we gave them, they just pretty much blew off and justified why it is okay. For instance the whole PR pride thing and looking down on others, they said that they see what we mean, but that this is why it happens... because they are the ones with the truth. The other thing was when we tried to say that the church has become kind of an idol because the PR church trusts in the fact that they have the truth, then he just blew that off too. And I did actually quote an untruth of one of the professors and they recognized that it wasn't truth (it was funny to see them squirm), but they just responded by saying that is an extreme. Yes it would have been better to just say the pews are uncomfortable lol. I think that they will never see it from a different viewpoint. Its futile. On the positive side though, they were really nice and they said that we have to make the decision about where the truth is for us and they can't make that decision for us. They weren't pressuring in any way. Anyways woohoo were free! P.s. The sex is way better after you leave too haha just kidding...but seriously.
Would like to hear about your progress...? Having been on here since this statement. Too funny! Progress?...No regrets....at all.
It is great to see my husbands faith blooming. And now we can be in a place where we can both be fed. It is so peaceful. I am slowly working through the wounds that the PRCA has left on me. I wondered who God really was (maybe partially from my childhood too so I cant blame it all on the PRCA) when I was there because of what I was being told, I felt guilty all the time, no mercy. I am learning again about God's love. I want to go to church now instead of dreading it, that's probably the best benefit.
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Post by guard.yourheart on Aug 31, 2017 3:28:27 GMT
The reasons that we gave them, they just pretty much blew off and justified why it is okay. For instance the whole PR pride thing and looking down on others, they said that they see what we mean, but that this is why it happens... because they are the ones with the truth. The other thing was when we tried to say that the church has become kind of an idol because the PR church trusts in the fact that they have the truth, then he just blew that off too. And I did actually quote an untruth of one of the professors and they recognized that it wasn't truth (it was funny to see them squirm), but they just responded by saying that is an extreme. Yes it would have been better to just say the pews are uncomfortable lol. I think that they will never see it from a different viewpoint. Its futile. On the positive side though, they were really nice and they said that we have to make the decision about where the truth is for us and they can't make that decision for us. They weren't pressuring in any way. Anyways woohoo were free! P.s. The sex is way better after you leave too haha just kidding...but seriously.
So? How's it going? We've been out about a year I think? It is so much better. We don't have the tension in our marriage anymore. Other true churches out there, so refreshing.
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seeker
Seminary Student
Posts: 351
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Post by seeker on Aug 31, 2017 23:37:02 GMT
We've been out about a year I think? It is so much better. We don't have the tension in our marriage anymore. Other true churches out there, so refreshing. you don't realize how good it is to be out until you do it. it is like a giant weight has been lifted
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Post by crazychurch on Sept 4, 2017 10:26:11 GMT
We've been out about a year I think? It is so much better. We don't have the tension in our marriage anymore. Other true churches out there, so refreshing. Best thing you could ever do! #WholeNewLIfe
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Post by Skyfall on Oct 5, 2017 12:09:58 GMT
When we made the decision to leave, we reached out to several friends that had already taken that road. We asked for advice. Their advice was to leave on a positive note, if possible. To translate, do not tell the elders or ministers what you believe to be wrong about the PRC. If you engage them in this way, they will feel the need to engage you in a discussion and attempt to correct you. Their ultimate goal is to place you under discipline so that you feel that you can't leave. They may eventually let you go once they tire of not being able to convince you. If they can get you to stay, it means more time for them to "work" with you (aka brainwash you). During this time, they will treat you horribly. They will not try to win you over with love, kindness, acceptance. They will abuse you, shun you and then at another time harass you. They will show up at your house and harass you (the wife) even when your husband is not home. They will treat your children like garbage. They will mess with you so badly that you won't know which way is up or down. It is better to put a smile on your face, act like everything is fine, say you love the PRC (even if you hate it), and say you've found a new church home. Do not, under any circumstances, tell them why you are dissatisfied. It will only end badly. 'Wondering how your life is today.
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Post by maggie on May 4, 2018 22:34:37 GMT
One thing that counciling taught me is that if I never stood up for what I believed in and if I kept it all bundled inside I would end up being a horribly depressed person. Second my councilor allowed my dad to attend my meeting. And at that time I was allowed to tell my father exactly how I felt. He didn't realize what kind of stress I was under. He cried. I have only seen my father cry twice, once during my great aunts a coma and second when my grandma died. I never thought my father and I would ever get through me leaving the Prc but counciling helped us. The list can go on, and on. But if you find the right councilor (I went through 5 councilors over a 9 year span) you can find some great healing and be able to move on and find PEACE. Still to this day however, sometimes I will catch myself thinking some of the Prc views about how I'm not good enough to be in heaven that I am a "reched sinner" and that "I can not do any good" but because I had counciling I am able to turn those thoughts into. I'm doing my best and christ loves me. I have seen depression itself called sinful. Anything the elders can deal with they just label as sin Most definitely on that! Depression is a sin they say because you don't rely on God enough. I've been in counseling for a number of yrs. A Christian counselor who finally convinced me that while past issues are involved in it, it is also a brain chemical problem. I will have to be on medications for the rest of my life
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Post by maggie on May 4, 2018 22:36:09 GMT
Yeh one pastor told my friend... If your depressed just stop what your doing... Lol come on! His family was disowning him because he was leaving "the church" Aside from my minister being a head case all by himself (as well as the previous one), I'm not sure these people are really qualified to deal with depression. Anyone who's been depressed knows that you can't "snap out of it". This is the sad state for someone who is truly depressed. And if anything, these so called pastors actually damaged the person even more by telling them they're sinning, etc. That does nothing for that person. I'd like to see more threads in here about how to truly help people in need. It's been my personal experience that they will need REAL professional help. It makes things a lot easier long term. Yes, and dealing with anxiety which goes along with depression
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Post by freefromprc on May 4, 2018 23:27:53 GMT
Aside from my minister being a head case all by himself (as well as the previous one), I'm not sure these people are really qualified to deal with depression. Anyone who's been depressed knows that you can't "snap out of it". This is the sad state for someone who is truly depressed. And if anything, these so called pastors actually damaged the person even more by telling them they're sinning, etc. That does nothing for that person. I'd like to see more threads in here about how to truly help people in need. It's been my personal experience that they will need REAL professional help. It makes things a lot easier long term. Yes, and dealing with anxiety which goes along with depression This has been posted before, but this is a helpful article to read when you have some time. It deals with psychological issues of former members of cultic and fundamentalist groups. www.jimmoyers.com/spirituality/issuesexfund.html
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Post by btrlatethnnver on Jul 31, 2018 0:29:54 GMT
Let me clarify something. I don't think the PR church has false doctrines generally. Doctrines come from the Bible and the Bible is true so generally doctrines are true except their is possibility of untruth because they are human made and not God breathed. I'm not sure what is considered a doctrine and what is considered just a teaching. There are teachings I disagree with and there are things in the church order I disagree with. The problem with it is what is preached off the pulpit sometimes, the man made rules, the pride. These sorts of things have led to false teachings. Yes, pride is preached against, but the underlying message tempts people to look down their noses at outsiders. Legalism has spread like a disease and this legalism is preached off the pulpit in some way in many sermons. It has pushed people towards works righteousness. We focus on Jesus being the Lord of our life, but forget that Jesus is also the Savior of our life. We are free to live! Jesus has come so that we may have life and have it to the full! Not to do whatever we want, but you get the point. I guess what I am saying is that in general the beliefs of the PRC are good and I appreciate things I have been taught here for one the fact that God is SO Holy, but the things that go on there and the hiding behind facades show that there is a serious sickness that needs to be addressed. How did the PR church become this way? When did it start? Is there some hidden agenda behind it? I know I don't have it altogether and I know I think wrong things, but there is something disturbing going on here. I have heard sermons where the minister named "close" denominations, and stated that "ALL their preachers MUST be deposed because of the 'grievous error' they teach." It wasn't until I ventured outside the prc that I first heard the need to have a personal relationship with Christ. It seems to me that in their overzealous effort to not use the language that these "false or departing" churches use, they instead have removed key tenets of what it is to really believe Christ. "you can't tell people to come to Christ, that's what the Arminians do" "God's grace and mercy aren't for those outside the church so I can't show it to them either, 'cause what if one of them wants to become a Christian when he's not one of the 'elect'" The pride behind the whole idea of being "distinctive" and "the Truest" has driven them to the point where they know who Christ is; but will not, indeed, can not lead anyone to HIM.
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Post by btrlatethnnver on Jul 31, 2018 0:45:30 GMT
Hi I do not feel spiritually feed by the PR church and in the past I have felt like I was spiritually dying there because I was getting so confused about the Bible and what being Christian is all about. There are just so many contradictions and twisting of Scripture and picking and choosing Scripture, at least I think so anyways (or am I just the one misinterpreting scripture? haha can you tell I am confused?)...But I am afraid to leave the PR church because what if I go somewhere else and I still feel like I am spiritually dying, then that means there is something wrong with me and not just the church I go to. You will not feel spiritually fed. The prc is a dead church. If you would like to learn reformed history, and the prc version of dogma, it's a great place to stay. Find a church where the Gospel of Christ is preached. One where your weakness as a human is acknowledged, and you are not brought to despair, but to the foot of the cross where there is a true rejoicing in the cleansing blood of the Lamb. Allow the Spirit to lead your heart, trust that God will lead you. The fear and intimidation used by the leadership is not at all conducive to a healthy spiritual and emotional life. There will be a fear of the unknown, of course. But you only have one place you need to look. Christward.
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Post by Admin on Jul 31, 2018 13:33:08 GMT
Let me clarify something. I don't think the PR church has false doctrines generally. Doctrines come from the Bible and the Bible is true so generally doctrines are true except their is possibility of untruth because they are human made and not God breathed. I'm not sure what is considered a doctrine and what is considered just a teaching. There are teachings I disagree with and there are things in the church order I disagree with. The problem with it is what is preached off the pulpit sometimes, the man made rules, the pride. These sorts of things have led to false teachings. Yes, pride is preached against, but the underlying message tempts people to look down their noses at outsiders. Legalism has spread like a disease and this legalism is preached off the pulpit in some way in many sermons. It has pushed people towards works righteousness. We focus on Jesus being the Lord of our life, but forget that Jesus is also the Savior of our life. We are free to live! Jesus has come so that we may have life and have it to the full! Not to do whatever we want, but you get the point. I guess what I am saying is that in general the beliefs of the PRC are good and I appreciate things I have been taught here for one the fact that God is SO Holy, but the things that go on there and the hiding behind facades show that there is a serious sickness that needs to be addressed. How did the PR church become this way? When did it start? Is there some hidden agenda behind it? I know I don't have it altogether and I know I think wrong things, but there is something disturbing going on here. I have heard sermons where the minister named "close" denominations, and stated that "ALL their preachers MUST be deposed because of the 'grievous error' they teach." It wasn't until I ventured outside the prc that I first heard the need to have a personal relationship with Christ. It seems to me that in their overzealous effort to not use the language that these "false or departing" churches use, they instead have removed key tenets of what it is to really believe Christ. "you can't tell people to come to Christ, that's what the Arminians do" "God's grace and mercy aren't for those outside the church so I can't show it to them either, 'cause what if one of them wants to become a Christian when he's not one of the 'elect'" The pride behind the whole idea of being "distinctive" and "the Truest" has driven them to the point where they know who Christ is; but will not, indeed, can not lead anyone to HIM. Hi btrlatethnnver, Thanks for posting! The Admin Team
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