Just finished reading When Narcissism comes to church by chuck degroat. I would highly recommend to those on this forum seeking to heal from their time in the PRC.
The chapter “understanding narcissistic systems” was almost chilling in its description of “vulnerable narcissistic systems” it was a little too familiar:
“While other churches were exploring pathways to vital mission, this church had a commitment to NOT doing whatever other churches were doing. Indeed, this church expected that they wouldn’t grow or thrive like others and were instead rigorously committed to preserving ‘the truth’ despite systemic dishonesty and unhealth”
“Theologically approved bullying as inflicted by headship affirming husbands toward their ‘helpmate’ wives, by certainty addicts against the theologically wishy-washy, and by moralists against anyone crossing their invisible fences.”
“The rigid belief systems and arrogant certainty of a vulnerable systems often demand a high level of allegiance along with painful consequences for those who leave the system.”
He covers common consequences of spiritual and emotional abuse (which by the way are significant, nothing to ignore!)
Also talks about narcissistic leadership too (not just the system).
I appreciated his hopeful outlook for people seeking to heal…that we all need to face the damage and pain so that we don’t pass it along to others.
Add it to your must-read list!