What marriage is... and isn't
Sept 5, 2022 20:26:14 GMT
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Post by Hw on Sept 5, 2022 20:26:14 GMT
These are the words of Patrick Weaver, of Patrick Weaver Ministries. He had a lot to say to the PRCA and their kid brother the RPCA. HAPPY Monday. I'll be posting soon with some of my current thoughts and what our plans have involved!
"This needs to be understood…An abusive marriage is not a relationship ordained by God, it’s wickedness hated by God: The LORD examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion” (Psalm 12:5). We need to get this understood so that we, the body of Christ, do not equate or relate abusive marriages with a marriage between two people who love and respect each other, and are surrendered to God’s design for marriage (Ephesians 5:21-33).
When those who are uninformed and unaware of what domestic abuse is confuse abuse with a marriage problem, they abuse by proxy. They slap God’s word and will for His children in the face — however well meaning they are.
An intimate partner predator is not a guy (or spouse) who’s having an off day or pouting. An intimate partner predator is a willful, habitual, unrepentant soul crushing, temple desecrating, vile and wicked person who has turned marriage into bondage.
Abuse is about coercive control that stems from an imbalance of power lorded over another to kill, steal and destroy. The effect is persistent hurt, harm and damage to the victim — mentally, emotionally and physically. The abuser lacks compassion, empathy, remorse or concern for the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing of their victim, and in many instances will physically murder their victim.
When abuse is confused with “marriage problems”, it falsely makes the oppressed responsible, at least partially, for the abuse. Abuse is not and never is a marriage problem, abuse is a behavioral problem that is not the responsibility of the victim to fix or share the responsibility for fixing. To equate abuse with a marriage problem, by default, blame shifts and absolves the abuser from taking full ownership of their behavior.
An abuse victim doesn’t have a partner, an abuse victim has a punisher, a predator. There is nothing similar about an abuser and a God ordained spouse. An abuser, an intimate partner predator, is not a spouse, they are a wicked and ungodly individual whose mindset is unaffected or persuaded by love or God (Romans 1:28-32; 2 Timothy 3:1-5). Marriage between two people who love, honor and respect one another, is not the same as a marriage between a victim and an intimate partner predator. And we must stop espousing this a disastrous, deadly and dangerous lie — abuse is hell, it is not biblically sanctioned by God in a marriage He joined together (Ephesians 5:21-33), it behaviorally departs the covenant (1 Corinthians 7:15), and an abuse victim is responsible for an abusers behavior — or to fix an abuser. Ever.
We must be very clear when we make any statement about marriage — biblical marriage. A biblical marriage is not bondage and has a zero tolerance for intimate partner abuse: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:25-28). Does this mean that a Godly marriage doesn’t have problems, growing pains and struggles? No. It means that a Godly marriage is not Egypt and a Godly mate is not Pharaoh.
Abuse is not a disagreement, a bad day, a mistake or a marriage problem. An abusive marriage is an evil gas chamber constructed to destroy the victim. Intimate partner abuse is an intentional, willful and pathological infliction of harm — perpetually and without regard for the damage being done.
Stop telling victims of abuse that they are in a marriage and the Bible’s references to marriage applies to them. The Bible’s references to bondage applies to an abuse victim: “Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked” (Psalm 82:3-4).
Carry On!"
"This needs to be understood…An abusive marriage is not a relationship ordained by God, it’s wickedness hated by God: The LORD examines the righteous, but the wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion” (Psalm 12:5). We need to get this understood so that we, the body of Christ, do not equate or relate abusive marriages with a marriage between two people who love and respect each other, and are surrendered to God’s design for marriage (Ephesians 5:21-33).
When those who are uninformed and unaware of what domestic abuse is confuse abuse with a marriage problem, they abuse by proxy. They slap God’s word and will for His children in the face — however well meaning they are.
An intimate partner predator is not a guy (or spouse) who’s having an off day or pouting. An intimate partner predator is a willful, habitual, unrepentant soul crushing, temple desecrating, vile and wicked person who has turned marriage into bondage.
Abuse is about coercive control that stems from an imbalance of power lorded over another to kill, steal and destroy. The effect is persistent hurt, harm and damage to the victim — mentally, emotionally and physically. The abuser lacks compassion, empathy, remorse or concern for the mental, emotional, physical and spiritual wellbeing of their victim, and in many instances will physically murder their victim.
When abuse is confused with “marriage problems”, it falsely makes the oppressed responsible, at least partially, for the abuse. Abuse is not and never is a marriage problem, abuse is a behavioral problem that is not the responsibility of the victim to fix or share the responsibility for fixing. To equate abuse with a marriage problem, by default, blame shifts and absolves the abuser from taking full ownership of their behavior.
An abuse victim doesn’t have a partner, an abuse victim has a punisher, a predator. There is nothing similar about an abuser and a God ordained spouse. An abuser, an intimate partner predator, is not a spouse, they are a wicked and ungodly individual whose mindset is unaffected or persuaded by love or God (Romans 1:28-32; 2 Timothy 3:1-5). Marriage between two people who love, honor and respect one another, is not the same as a marriage between a victim and an intimate partner predator. And we must stop espousing this a disastrous, deadly and dangerous lie — abuse is hell, it is not biblically sanctioned by God in a marriage He joined together (Ephesians 5:21-33), it behaviorally departs the covenant (1 Corinthians 7:15), and an abuse victim is responsible for an abusers behavior — or to fix an abuser. Ever.
We must be very clear when we make any statement about marriage — biblical marriage. A biblical marriage is not bondage and has a zero tolerance for intimate partner abuse: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:25-28). Does this mean that a Godly marriage doesn’t have problems, growing pains and struggles? No. It means that a Godly marriage is not Egypt and a Godly mate is not Pharaoh.
Abuse is not a disagreement, a bad day, a mistake or a marriage problem. An abusive marriage is an evil gas chamber constructed to destroy the victim. Intimate partner abuse is an intentional, willful and pathological infliction of harm — perpetually and without regard for the damage being done.
Stop telling victims of abuse that they are in a marriage and the Bible’s references to marriage applies to them. The Bible’s references to bondage applies to an abuse victim: “Defend the weak and the fatherless; uphold the cause of the poor and the oppressed. Rescue the weak and the needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked” (Psalm 82:3-4).
Carry On!"
