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Post by midwestchristian on Jun 5, 2016 17:57:01 GMT
Any tips on how to best handle this? My wife and I have been out of the PRC now for over 10 years. Leaving was one of the best decisions we have ever made. However, most of her family is still in the PRC, which means we occasionally do attend PR services for baptisms and professions/confessions of faith.
I actually don't mind the worship services that much. Sometimes the sermons are even on topics beyond the norm. However, I find the post service small talk time to be excruciating, mainly because hardly anyone will talk to us. We could literally stand alone for 30 minutes without anyone even saying hello (there is one exception, a very kind older gentleman who always says hello and chats for a bit, but that's it). The last time I attended a PR service, I saw a former friend of mine, a guy I was actually very close to during my time in the PRC, and a guy who simply cut us off when we left. My wife and I were standing alone after church and he made eye contact with us as he was walking by, and then just kept right on walking without saying a word.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jun 5, 2016 19:45:26 GMT
Any tips on how to best handle this? My wife and I have been out of the PRC now for over 10 years. Leaving was one of the best decisions we have ever made. However, most of her family is still in the PRC, which means we occasionally do attend PR services for baptisms and professions/confessions of faith. I actually don't mind the worship services that much. Sometimes the sermons are even on topics beyond the norm. However, I find the post service small talk time to be excruciating, mainly because hardly anyone will talk to us. We could literally stand alone for 30 minutes without anyone even saying hello (there is one exception, a very kind older gentleman who always says hello and chats for a bit, but that's it). The last time I attended a PR service, I saw a former friend of mine, a guy I was actually very close to during my time in the PRC, and a guy who simply cut us off when we left. My wife and I were standing alone after church and he made eye contact with us as he was walking by, and then just kept right on walking without saying a word. Initiate contact, confront them, ask them their reasoning in their behavior. You deserve answers. If they refuse to answer or walk away, you've got your answer. The pr church is the most unfriendly, sanctimonious, snobby clique I've ever had the annoyance to experience. They're like John Calvin on steroids.
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Post by midwestchristian on Jun 5, 2016 23:53:01 GMT
Any tips on how to best handle this? My wife and I have been out of the PRC now for over 10 years. Leaving was one of the best decisions we have ever made. However, most of her family is still in the PRC, which means we occasionally do attend PR services for baptisms and professions/confessions of faith. I actually don't mind the worship services that much. Sometimes the sermons are even on topics beyond the norm. However, I find the post service small talk time to be excruciating, mainly because hardly anyone will talk to us. We could literally stand alone for 30 minutes without anyone even saying hello (there is one exception, a very kind older gentleman who always says hello and chats for a bit, but that's it). The last time I attended a PR service, I saw a former friend of mine, a guy I was actually very close to during my time in the PRC, and a guy who simply cut us off when we left. My wife and I were standing alone after church and he made eye contact with us as he was walking by, and then just kept right on walking without saying a word. Initiate contact, confront them, ask them their reasoning in their behavior. You deserve answers. If they refuse to answer or walk away, you've got your answer. The pr church is the most unfriendly, sanctimonious, snobby clique I've ever had the annoyance to experience. They're like John Calvin on steroids. I have done this before. I actually ran into another one of my former "friends" from the PRC in a park a couple years ago. He was going to do the usual walk by with no acknowledgement and I decided just to step in his way and address him. Once he was forced to stop, he was actually fairly friendly and we had an okay conversation. Here is the interesting and truly sad part of this story, I heard he was later rebuked by one of his elders (I have no idea how the elder even found out about this) for having this conversation with me and "acting like everything was all right."
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Post by NotSureWhatToPutHere on Jun 6, 2016 0:22:58 GMT
We have had the same thing - at my uncles Funeral my sister looked at me, looked away and refused to say hi... but many others, as soon as I say Hi to them, reciprocate and say hi back and talk. They are not all bad, some really have no clue about what is going on... Many of my relatives pull me aside and tell me that they think my sister is wrong for cutting me off... lol... but they won't say that to her... or to the pastors or elders.... I think that many are just uncomfortable because they are just not really sure why someone would leave because it hasn't crossed their mind!
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Post by cannalily on Jun 6, 2016 0:27:23 GMT
We have had the same thing - at my uncles Funeral my sister looked at me, looked away and refused to say hi... but many others, as soon as I say Hi to them, reciprocate and say hi back and talk. They are not all bad, some really have no clue about what is going on... Many of my relatives pull me aside and tell me that they think my sister is wrong for cutting me off... lol... but they won't say that to her... or to the pastors or elders.... I think that many are just uncomfortable because they are just not really sure why someone would leave because it hasn't crossed their mind! There are also those who are out and out cowards. I could name names - but I'm not sure if the admins here appreciate that. But I've seen it first hand - the leaders of the entire organization walked away with his tail between his legs when confronted. In that instant I realized that the real "power" is the guilt and fear that they hang on those heads who are still in this cult. Everything else is simply smoke and mirrors.
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Post by crusader on Jun 6, 2016 13:05:47 GMT
Any tips on how to best handle this? My wife and I have been out of the PRC now for over 10 years. Leaving was one of the best decisions we have ever made. However, most of her family is still in the PRC, which means we occasionally do attend PR services for baptisms and professions/confessions of faith. I actually don't mind the worship services that much. Sometimes the sermons are even on topics beyond the norm. However, I find the post service small talk time to be excruciating, mainly because hardly anyone will talk to us. We could literally stand alone for 30 minutes without anyone even saying hello (there is one exception, a very kind older gentleman who always says hello and chats for a bit, but that's it). The last time I attended a PR service, I saw a former friend of mine, a guy I was actually very close to during my time in the PRC, and a guy who simply cut us off when we left. My wife and I were standing alone after church and he made eye contact with us as he was walking by, and then just kept right on walking without saying a word. Why would anyone want to talk to you? It would only put a person in a bad light in front of anyone else. What the others think of us is what we have to deal with, its not worth it. Its a shame, but that is how it is.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Jun 6, 2016 15:14:08 GMT
Any tips on how to best handle this? My wife and I have been out of the PRC now for over 10 years. Leaving was one of the best decisions we have ever made. However, most of her family is still in the PRC, which means we occasionally do attend PR services for baptisms and professions/confessions of faith. I actually don't mind the worship services that much. Sometimes the sermons are even on topics beyond the norm. However, I find the post service small talk time to be excruciating, mainly because hardly anyone will talk to us. We could literally stand alone for 30 minutes without anyone even saying hello (there is one exception, a very kind older gentleman who always says hello and chats for a bit, but that's it). The last time I attended a PR service, I saw a former friend of mine, a guy I was actually very close to during my time in the PRC, and a guy who simply cut us off when we left. My wife and I were standing alone after church and he made eye contact with us as he was walking by, and then just kept right on walking without saying a word. Why would anyone want to talk to you? It would only put a person in a bad light in front of anyone else. What the others think of us is what we have to deal with, its not worth it. Its a shame, but that is how it is. It's all very Christ like, isn't it?
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seeker
Seminary Student
Posts: 351
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Post by seeker on Jun 8, 2016 0:42:50 GMT
Any tips on how to best handle this? My wife and I have been out of the PRC now for over 10 years. Leaving was one of the best decisions we have ever made. However, most of her family is still in the PRC, which means we occasionally do attend PR services for baptisms and professions/confessions of faith. I actually don't mind the worship services that much. Sometimes the sermons are even on topics beyond the norm. However, I find the post service small talk time to be excruciating, mainly because hardly anyone will talk to us. We could literally stand alone for 30 minutes without anyone even saying hello (there is one exception, a very kind older gentleman who always says hello and chats for a bit, but that's it). The last time I attended a PR service, I saw a former friend of mine, a guy I was actually very close to during my time in the PRC, and a guy who simply cut us off when we left. My wife and I were standing alone after church and he made eye contact with us as he was walking by, and then just kept right on walking without saying a word. even tho there are people there that i care about, i have no desire to ever go back. not for a empty special service, not for a fake baptism, not for a fake confession of faith. i am completely done with the whole group. if i want to talk to any of them, it will not be in their building. no hard feelings to you midwestchristian, its just that i dont think there is any good in going back to that toxic place. and if i went to see some special activity for a family member still there, it would simply show some sort of support for which i have none
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Post by KristianWrights on Jun 9, 2016 0:20:34 GMT
Any tips on how to best handle this? My wife and I have been out of the PRC now for over 10 years. Leaving was one of the best decisions we have ever made. However, most of her family is still in the PRC, which means we occasionally do attend PR services for baptisms and professions/confessions of faith. I actually don't mind the worship services that much. Sometimes the sermons are even on topics beyond the norm. However, I find the post service small talk time to be excruciating, mainly because hardly anyone will talk to us. We could literally stand alone for 30 minutes without anyone even saying hello (there is one exception, a very kind older gentleman who always says hello and chats for a bit, but that's it). The last time I attended a PR service, I saw a former friend of mine, a guy I was actually very close to during my time in the PRC, and a guy who simply cut us off when we left. My wife and I were standing alone after church and he made eye contact with us as he was walking by, and then just kept right on walking without saying a word. even tho there are people there that i care about, i have no desire to ever go back. not for a empty special service, not for a fake baptism, not for a fake confession of faith. i am completely done with the whole group. if i want to talk to any of them, it will not be in their building. no hard feelings to you midwestchristian, its just that i dont think there is any good in going back to that toxic place. and if i went to see some special activity for a family member still there, it would simply show some sort of support for which i have none I feel the same way. I will never step back in that cult church not for a funeral, not for a baptism and not for a wedding and not for a confession of faith, never! it's the pit. Sorry grandma I know your on your death bed but I can't do it. Funny how growing up grandma you used to curse the "other" "Christian" churches.... And then you were forced to live side by side with them in hotel sunset ... And then you felt like wow they are ok...maybe they will be in heaven.... Sad that this happens to so many of the PRC people.... They realize on their death bed that PRC s are not the only people going to heaven.... Shame that they have shunned their own family.... Missed out on so many things and then realize in their last breaths.... That they were WRONG!!!!
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potato
Elderberry
Potatoes are potatoes so why should it be, that you and I should mash together so awfully.
Posts: 133
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Post by potato on Jun 14, 2016 11:41:31 GMT
even tho there are people there that i care about, i have no desire to ever go back. not for a empty special service, not for a fake baptism, not for a fake confession of faith. i am completely done with the whole group. if i want to talk to any of them, it will not be in their building. no hard feelings to you midwestchristian, its just that i dont think there is any good in going back to that toxic place. and if i went to see some special activity for a family member still there, it would simply show some sort of support for which i have none I feel the same way. I will never step back in that cult church not for a funeral, not for a baptism and not for a wedding and not for a confession of faith, never! it's the pit. Sorry grandma I know your on your death bed but I can't do it. Funny how growing up grandma you used to curse the "other" "Christian" churches.... And then you were forced to live side by side with them in hotel sunset ... And then you felt like wow they are ok...maybe they will be in heaven.... Sad that this happens to so many of the PRC people.... They realize on their death bed that PRC s are not the only people going to heaven.... Shame that they have shunned their own family.... Missed out on so many things and then realize in their last breaths.... That they were WRONG!!!! Personally I would go back for a funeral of someone I cared for. I would probably go to a wedding of a friend or family member if invited. I will not go to a service for initiation into the cult, I would consider showing up for an after party if invited. After being shunned for so long, if invited, I tend to try to make some form of appearance to remind them that they left me I didn't leave them, only the cult.
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Post by freefromprc on Jun 14, 2016 14:46:37 GMT
I feel the same way. I will never step back in that cult church not for a funeral, not for a baptism and not for a wedding and not for a confession of faith, never! it's the pit. Sorry grandma I know your on your death bed but I can't do it. Funny how growing up grandma you used to curse the "other" "Christian" churches.... And then you were forced to live side by side with them in hotel sunset ... And then you felt like wow they are ok...maybe they will be in heaven.... Sad that this happens to so many of the PRC people.... They realize on their death bed that PRC s are not the only people going to heaven.... Shame that they have shunned their own family.... Missed out on so many things and then realize in their last breaths.... That they were WRONG!!!! Personally I would go back for a funeral of someone I cared for. I would probably go to a wedding of a friend or family member if invited. I will not go to a service for initiation into the cult, I would consider showing up for an after party if invited. After being shunned for so long, if invited, I tend to try to make some form of appearance to remind them that they left me I didn't leave them, only the cult. I used to feel bad when i wasn't invited or notified that kids were going to be in a school program etc, now i feel like i wouldn't attend anyway. It is sad to know they are being poisoned by this cult through the schools every school day, to see how indoctrinated they have become would sicken me.
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potato
Elderberry
Potatoes are potatoes so why should it be, that you and I should mash together so awfully.
Posts: 133
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Post by potato on Jun 14, 2016 14:58:46 GMT
Personally I would go back for a funeral of someone I cared for. I would probably go to a wedding of a friend or family member if invited. I will not go to a service for initiation into the cult, I would consider showing up for an after party if invited. After being shunned for so long, if invited, I tend to try to make some form of appearance to remind them that they left me I didn't leave them, only the cult. I used to feel bad when i wasn't invited or notified that kids were going to be in a school program etc, now i feel like i wouldn't attend anyway. It is sad to know they are being poisoned by this cult through the schools every school day, to see how indoctrinated they have become would sicken me. I would definitely skip a school program. I don't do ceremonies, but if it is a get together where we can all eat and talk I'll try to show up. I like to think of it as a chance to witness
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Post by freefromprc on Jun 14, 2016 17:11:24 GMT
I used to feel bad when i wasn't invited or notified that kids were going to be in a school program etc, now i feel like i wouldn't attend anyway. It is sad to know they are being poisoned by this cult through the schools every school day, to see how indoctrinated they have become would sicken me. I would definitely skip a school program. I don't do ceremonies, but if it is a get together where we can all eat and talk I'll try to show up. I like to think of it as a chance to witness You have a stronger stomach than me, must be all the fries
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Post by KristianWrights on Jun 16, 2016 23:08:35 GMT
even tho there are people there that i care about, i have no desire to ever go back. not for a empty special service, not for a fake baptism, not for a fake confession of faith. i am completely done with the whole group. if i want to talk to any of them, it will not be in their building. no hard feelings to you midwestchristian, its just that i dont think there is any good in going back to that toxic place. and if i went to see some special activity for a family member still there, it would simply show some sort of support for which i have none I feel the same way. I will never step back in that cult church not for a funeral, not for a baptism and not for a wedding and not for a confession of faith, never! it's the pit. Sorry grandma I know your on your death bed but I can't do it. Funny how growing up grandma you used to curse the "other" "Christian" churches.... And then you were forced to live side by side with them in hotel sunset ... And then you felt like wow they are ok...maybe they will be in heaven.... Sad that this happens to so many of the PRC people.... They realize on their death bed that PRC s are not the only people going to heaven.... Shame that they have shunned their own family.... Missed out on so many things and then realize in their last breaths.... That they were WRONG!!!! I have had to eat my words before but never this soon
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Post by mb19339 on Sept 27, 2016 17:15:29 GMT
For me, initially I would avoid visiting a PR church if at all possible (unless I knew the pastor to be a more moderate pastor, one of the few pastors who has been trying to change things). I have finally come to the conclusion not to attend whatsoever--even for baptisms and such. Once you've been out for a few years and developed a healthier doctrine, the toxicity of the preaching becomes very obvious. The last 2 baptisms I went to, one of them was a rant about total depravity and how the baby being baptized could very well be reprobate. What a way to celebrate a child's birth. The other was a sermon directed only to men about their responsibility as the heads of the home to raise children in the Lord with a few side tangents about gender roles and discipline methods (spanking is encouraged). It's so heartbreakingly sad and dark, and I found myself needing to pray for everyone in the room and how the kids would be affected.
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