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Post by churchcoffee on Jan 14, 2022 18:53:02 GMT
I left the PRC roughly 10 years ago. At the time, I felt utterly alone - alone as I grieved the loss of my entire community, as I deconstructed and reconstructed my faith, and as I navigated this newfound joy in the God I had unknowingly kept in a box for far too long. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I happened to stumble upon this forum. Though I have recovered from the trauma of leaving the PRC and have shared my story with my new community, I've never had the opportunity to grieve/heal/celebrate with fellow PRC trauma survivors - with others who understand the depths of my hurt and my joy. So as a final act of healing, I will share my story; though compared to the stories of others on this forum, my experience is relatively tame and boring.
Until I entered college, I was fully bought in to the lifestyle of the PRC. I was a goody two shoes, upstanding member who followed all the rules and memorized all the right things. I was happy. I was content. Thought I'd teach in a PR school, marry a PR man, and raise several little PR kiddos. My greatest acts of rebellion growing up were 1) attending a movie for the first time in high school with my more "rebellious" PR friends and 2) using "You/Your" pronouns to address God in my private prayers. What a sinner - I know. Not until college did I realize how much bigger God was and how much more loving he required us to be. It was a blow to the stomach when I realized that I needed to leave the PRC if I wanted to truly know and serve God. I didn't see this coming. I didn't WANT to leave - that was my entire community. That was all I knew. But I knew that I had no choice if I wanted grow in my faith. I was gutted.
So I left. Because I was a rule-following good two shoes though, I actually met with the elders to explain my reasons for leaving. In short, they told me I was headed towards darkness and that it might not be God urging me to leave but Satan himself. How did I think this meeting would go any other way? I also sat down with my parents. I told them that I wanted to grow my my faith but that I couldn't do it in the PRC. They wept. Kept asking me why. I ran out of ways to explain myself. I felt their disappointment in my bones. Did they not hear the part where I wanted to know God more and grow in my faith? I even got an email from my pre-teen niece, chastising me for making grandpa and grandma cry. Ouch.
Next, I had to tell my PR friends, my BEST friends. One of them showed genuine empathy as she was wrestling with doubts and questions of her own. Her kindness and understanding was a lifeline. Another one of my best friends, however, told me, "I don't think we can be friends anymore." To this day, that friend doesn't understand the trauma she inflicted on me with those words. The few times I've run into her since leaving, she's acted as if nothing has happened, acted as if she didn't cut me open with those words. She even reached out to me on FB years later with fake niceties to get me to join her MLM. No. Effing. Way.
None of that pain, however, could cloud the true joy and freedom I felt in finally being able to fully explore my faith and spirituality. My family and I have since reconciled. We avoid conversations focused on faith and they rarely ask me about my church or my new church family, but we're civil and there's still love. I no longer live in a PR pocket of the country and that distance has allowed for immense healing.
I can think of no better way to end my story than with this quote from American physicist Richard Feynman: "I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned." Be kind, everyone. Thanks for listening.
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Post by ExPRisoner on Jan 14, 2022 21:14:37 GMT
You have been spared no doubt about that. It is such a shame that good people develop such an arrogance for their Church (the one and only) that they forfeit such honest Christian friends and family members. Isn't Jesus about serving and humility? Do they not see how their treatment of you goes so against Christ's love for his children?
The PRC/RPC members suffer from Mass Formation Psychosis, and they need you and others sharing their stories here to help pull them out of it. Thanks for sharing.
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Post by questioneverything on Jan 14, 2022 21:37:56 GMT
You have been spared no doubt about that. It is such a shame that good people develop such an arrogance for their Church (the one and only) that they forfeit such honest Christian friends and family members. Isn't Jesus about serving and humility? Do they not see how their treatment of you goes so against Christ's love for his children? The PRC/RPC members suffer from Mass Formation Psychosis, and they need you and others sharing their stories here to help pull them out of it. Thanks for sharing. Personally, I don't want the PRC/RPC to get pulled out of it. I hope they both languish and die. I hope their members get pulled out of it. |
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Post by throwaway2018 on Jan 14, 2022 22:06:13 GMT
I left the PRC roughly 10 years ago. At the time, I felt utterly alone - alone as I grieved the loss of my entire community, as I deconstructed and reconstructed my faith, and as I navigated this newfound joy in the God I had unknowingly kept in a box for far too long. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I happened to stumble upon this forum. Though I have recovered from the trauma of leaving the PRC and have shared my story with my new community, I've never had the opportunity to grieve/heal/celebrate with fellow PRC trauma survivors - with others who understand the depths of my hurt and my joy. So as a final act of healing, I will share my story; though compared to the stories of others on this forum, my experience is relatively tame and boring. Until I entered college, I was fully bought in to the lifestyle of the PRC. I was a goody two shoes, upstanding member who followed all the rules and memorized all the right things. I was happy. I was content. Thought I'd teach in a PR school, marry a PR man, and raise several little PR kiddos. My greatest acts of rebellion growing up were 1) attending a movie for the first time in high school with my more "rebellious" PR friends and 2) using "You/Your" pronouns to address God in my private prayers. What a sinner - I know. Not until college did I realize how much bigger God was and how much more loving he required us to be. It was a blow to the stomach when I realized that I needed to leave the PRC if I wanted to truly know and serve God. I didn't see this coming. I didn't WANT to leave - that was my entire community. That was all I knew. But I knew that I had no choice if I wanted grow in my faith. I was gutted. So I left. Because I was a rule-following good two shoes though, I actually met with the elders to explain my reasons for leaving. In short, they told me I was headed towards darkness and that it might not be God urging me to leave but Satan himself. How did I think this meeting would go any other way? I also sat down with my parents. I told them that I wanted to grow my my faith but that I couldn't do it in the PRC. They wept. Kept asking me why. I ran out of ways to explain myself. I felt their disappointment in my bones. Did they not hear the part where I wanted to know God more and grow in my faith? I even got an email from my pre-teen niece, chastising me for making grandpa and grandma cry. Ouch. Next, I had to tell my PR friends, my BEST friends. One of them showed genuine empathy as she was wrestling with doubts and questions of her own. Her kindness and understanding was a lifeline. Another one of my best friends, however, told me, "I don't think we can be friends anymore." To this day, that friend doesn't understand the trauma she inflicted on me with those words. The few times I've run into her since leaving, she's acted as if nothing has happened, acted as if she didn't cut me open with those words. She even reached out to me on FB years later with fake niceties to get me to join her MLM. No. Effing. Way. None of that pain, however, could cloud the true joy and freedom I felt in finally being able to fully explore my faith and spirituality. My family and I have since reconciled. We avoid conversations focused on faith and they rarely ask me about my church or my new church family, but we're civil and there's still love. I no longer live in a PR pocket of the country and that distance has allowed for immense healing. I can think of no better way to end my story than with this quote from American physicist Richard Feynman: "I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned." Be kind, everyone. Thanks for listening. Thank you so much for sharing your story here and being so honest and vulnerable. It means so much to everyone reading here to be reminded that they're not alone in the struggles they went through. I'm so glad to hear that you're so much happier and feel free now. |
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Post by Skyfall on Jan 15, 2022 10:31:05 GMT
I left the PRC roughly 10 years ago. At the time, I felt utterly alone - alone as I grieved the loss of my entire community, as I deconstructed and reconstructed my faith, and as I navigated this newfound joy in the God I had unknowingly kept in a box for far too long. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I happened to stumble upon this forum. Though I have recovered from the trauma of leaving the PRC and have shared my story with my new community, I've never had the opportunity to grieve/heal/celebrate with fellow PRC trauma survivors - with others who understand the depths of my hurt and my joy. So as a final act of healing, I will share my story; though compared to the stories of others on this forum, my experience is relatively tame and boring. Until I entered college, I was fully bought in to the lifestyle of the PRC. I was a goody two shoes, upstanding member who followed all the rules and memorized all the right things. I was happy. I was content. Thought I'd teach in a PR school, marry a PR man, and raise several little PR kiddos. My greatest acts of rebellion growing up were 1) attending a movie for the first time in high school with my more "rebellious" PR friends and 2) using "You/Your" pronouns to address God in my private prayers. What a sinner - I know. Not until college did I realize how much bigger God was and how much more loving he required us to be. It was a blow to the stomach when I realized that I needed to leave the PRC if I wanted to truly know and serve God. I didn't see this coming. I didn't WANT to leave - that was my entire community. That was all I knew. But I knew that I had no choice if I wanted grow in my faith. I was gutted. So I left. Because I was a rule-following good two shoes though, I actually met with the elders to explain my reasons for leaving. In short, they told me I was headed towards darkness and that it might not be God urging me to leave but Satan himself. How did I think this meeting would go any other way? I also sat down with my parents. I told them that I wanted to grow my my faith but that I couldn't do it in the PRC. They wept. Kept asking me why. I ran out of ways to explain myself. I felt their disappointment in my bones. Did they not hear the part where I wanted to know God more and grow in my faith? I even got an email from my pre-teen niece, chastising me for making grandpa and grandma cry. Ouch. Next, I had to tell my PR friends, my BEST friends. One of them showed genuine empathy as she was wrestling with doubts and questions of her own. Her kindness and understanding was a lifeline. Another one of my best friends, however, told me, "I don't think we can be friends anymore." To this day, that friend doesn't understand the trauma she inflicted on me with those words. The few times I've run into her since leaving, she's acted as if nothing has happened, acted as if she didn't cut me open with those words. She even reached out to me on FB years later with fake niceties to get me to join her MLM. No. Effing. Way. None of that pain, however, could cloud the true joy and freedom I felt in finally being able to fully explore my faith and spirituality. My family and I have since reconciled. We avoid conversations focused on faith and they rarely ask me about my church or my new church family, but we're civil and there's still love. I no longer live in a PR pocket of the country and that distance has allowed for immense healing. I can think of no better way to end my story than with this quote from American physicist Richard Feynman: "I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned." Be kind, everyone. Thanks for listening. Thank you for posting this. It’s brutally honest, and on point. It shows how awful this cult is in its entirety, and brings to light once again how horrible this organization is perpetuating the generational cycle of abuse. Such unnecessary scarring just to claim the “truest church”. (And now with the RPC breathing down your necks, was it all worth it? Will you leave for the flat-earth RPC because it’s truer? Is that your answer? Or will you take a deep inward dive and see how cult membership is devastating?) What horrible mind games, anguish, and overall hurt just so one cult member can claim “righteousness anger” and shun. This ought to be a wake up call to those in this cult. Snap out of it. You’ve been duped. Wake up already. |
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Post by NotSureWhatToPutHere on Jan 15, 2022 19:56:19 GMT
Thank you for sharing your story! I'm so glad to hear that you found a new community and are able to see God in more of His glory! I'm so excited to see Him in all His glory when I meet him face to face!!
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Whisper
Seminary Student
Posts: 452
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Post by Whisper on Jan 16, 2022 7:23:45 GMT
I left the PRC roughly 10 years ago. At the time, I felt utterly alone - alone as I grieved the loss of my entire community, as I deconstructed and reconstructed my faith, and as I navigated this newfound joy in the God I had unknowingly kept in a box for far too long. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I happened to stumble upon this forum. Though I have recovered from the trauma of leaving the PRC and have shared my story with my new community, I've never had the opportunity to grieve/heal/celebrate with fellow PRC trauma survivors - with others who understand the depths of my hurt and my joy. So as a final act of healing, I will share my story; though compared to the stories of others on this forum, my experience is relatively tame and boring. Until I entered college, I was fully bought in to the lifestyle of the PRC. I was a goody two shoes, upstanding member who followed all the rules and memorized all the right things. I was happy. I was content. Thought I'd teach in a PR school, marry a PR man, and raise several little PR kiddos. My greatest acts of rebellion growing up were 1) attending a movie for the first time in high school with my more "rebellious" PR friends and 2) using "You/Your" pronouns to address God in my private prayers. What a sinner - I know. Not until college did I realize how much bigger God was and how much more loving he required us to be. It was a blow to the stomach when I realized that I needed to leave the PRC if I wanted to truly know and serve God. I didn't see this coming. I didn't WANT to leave - that was my entire community. That was all I knew. But I knew that I had no choice if I wanted grow in my faith. I was gutted. So I left. Because I was a rule-following good two shoes though, I actually met with the elders to explain my reasons for leaving. In short, they told me I was headed towards darkness and that it might not be God urging me to leave but Satan himself. How did I think this meeting would go any other way? I also sat down with my parents. I told them that I wanted to grow my my faith but that I couldn't do it in the PRC. They wept. Kept asking me why. I ran out of ways to explain myself. I felt their disappointment in my bones. Did they not hear the part where I wanted to know God more and grow in my faith? I even got an email from my pre-teen niece, chastising me for making grandpa and grandma cry. Ouch. Next, I had to tell my PR friends, my BEST friends. One of them showed genuine empathy as she was wrestling with doubts and questions of her own. Her kindness and understanding was a lifeline. Another one of my best friends, however, told me, "I don't think we can be friends anymore." To this day, that friend doesn't understand the trauma she inflicted on me with those words. The few times I've run into her since leaving, she's acted as if nothing has happened, acted as if she didn't cut me open with those words. She even reached out to me on FB years later with fake niceties to get me to join her MLM. No. Effing. Way. None of that pain, however, could cloud the true joy and freedom I felt in finally being able to fully explore my faith and spirituality. My family and I have since reconciled. We avoid conversations focused on faith and they rarely ask me about my church or my new church family, but we're civil and there's still love. I no longer live in a PR pocket of the country and that distance has allowed for immense healing. I can think of no better way to end my story than with this quote from American physicist Richard Feynman: "I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned." Be kind, everyone. Thanks for listening. . The same reason I left. To be used by God. To be closer to God and not be tied down by unbiblical control of spiritual life. And same issues with family and friends. Abandoned. To this day my parents think I have wronged them and caused the family pain. While I sit here “bleeding out” at times, they claim they are the victims. All of them. |
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Post by Skyfall on Jan 16, 2022 11:28:57 GMT
I left the PRC roughly 10 years ago. At the time, I felt utterly alone - alone as I grieved the loss of my entire community, as I deconstructed and reconstructed my faith, and as I navigated this newfound joy in the God I had unknowingly kept in a box for far too long. It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I happened to stumble upon this forum. Though I have recovered from the trauma of leaving the PRC and have shared my story with my new community, I've never had the opportunity to grieve/heal/celebrate with fellow PRC trauma survivors - with others who understand the depths of my hurt and my joy. So as a final act of healing, I will share my story; though compared to the stories of others on this forum, my experience is relatively tame and boring. Until I entered college, I was fully bought in to the lifestyle of the PRC. I was a goody two shoes, upstanding member who followed all the rules and memorized all the right things. I was happy. I was content. Thought I'd teach in a PR school, marry a PR man, and raise several little PR kiddos. My greatest acts of rebellion growing up were 1) attending a movie for the first time in high school with my more "rebellious" PR friends and 2) using "You/Your" pronouns to address God in my private prayers. What a sinner - I know. Not until college did I realize how much bigger God was and how much more loving he required us to be. It was a blow to the stomach when I realized that I needed to leave the PRC if I wanted to truly know and serve God. I didn't see this coming. I didn't WANT to leave - that was my entire community. That was all I knew. But I knew that I had no choice if I wanted grow in my faith. I was gutted. So I left. Because I was a rule-following good two shoes though, I actually met with the elders to explain my reasons for leaving. In short, they told me I was headed towards darkness and that it might not be God urging me to leave but Satan himself. How did I think this meeting would go any other way? I also sat down with my parents. I told them that I wanted to grow my my faith but that I couldn't do it in the PRC. They wept. Kept asking me why. I ran out of ways to explain myself. I felt their disappointment in my bones. Did they not hear the part where I wanted to know God more and grow in my faith? I even got an email from my pre-teen niece, chastising me for making grandpa and grandma cry. Ouch. Next, I had to tell my PR friends, my BEST friends. One of them showed genuine empathy as she was wrestling with doubts and questions of her own. Her kindness and understanding was a lifeline. Another one of my best friends, however, told me, "I don't think we can be friends anymore." To this day, that friend doesn't understand the trauma she inflicted on me with those words. The few times I've run into her since leaving, she's acted as if nothing has happened, acted as if she didn't cut me open with those words. She even reached out to me on FB years later with fake niceties to get me to join her MLM. No. Effing. Way. None of that pain, however, could cloud the true joy and freedom I felt in finally being able to fully explore my faith and spirituality. My family and I have since reconciled. We avoid conversations focused on faith and they rarely ask me about my church or my new church family, but we're civil and there's still love. I no longer live in a PR pocket of the country and that distance has allowed for immense healing. I can think of no better way to end my story than with this quote from American physicist Richard Feynman: "I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned." Be kind, everyone. Thanks for listening. . The same reason I left. To be used by God. To be closer to God and not be tied down by unbiblical control of spiritual life. And same issues with family and friends. Abandoned. To this day my parents think I have wronged them and caused the family pain. While I sit here “bleeding out” at times, they claim they are the victims. All of them. Oh! Prs love to play that victim card. Look what you’ve done to my image! Phariseeistic to the Nth degree. But we’re the truest church! Ugh. Run away. Far. |
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Post by JohnOrange on Jan 16, 2022 18:35:16 GMT
The original poster quoted another saying to her: "I don't think we can be friends anymore." Stunning but true, there seems to be a certain personality that values ideology or tribal affiliation over inter-personal friendships or relationships. In that viewpoint, a person has value only insofar as he or she is committed to the ideology or tribe. The extreme version of this is the concentration camps, the burning of heretics etc; the victims don't matter because they are ideologically or tribally wrong. To be honest, 9/11 awakened me to this, and also made me realize to my chagrin that I had restrictive ideological tendencies myself, when I was in circles somewhat similar to PRC. Much better it is to prioritize people, not organizations / ideology / tribes, in my opinion.
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