Last Saturdays' Gathering

How to sum up that afternoon. That's my difficulty. When something is so good, it's hard to express it adequately. There was food,a bonfire and lawn games. Bonfire wasn't really used, yard games went untouched, and the conversation was easy, effortless, and constant. It was the conversation and interactions that, as always, filled my heart to bursting. It was mentioned more than once that it was wished it could have lasted all night. Seeing even more new faces and hearing more stories of leaving and surviving and suffering fuels me to keep going and to think bigger. My husband and I plan on this being a monthly thing. If only one person shows up, that's success in my book. I know, I truly know what it means to have people show up. The trust they are giving me is not going unnoticed and it's recognized by my husband and me. Watch for future events. Locations will vary and some unexpected opportunities showed themselves and could be a huge development. I'm going to be taking a big step shortly. I'm asking for your prayers, good thoughts, support, good vibes or however you remember people facing big things. I've had enough of this abuse. Enough of the destruction of families, enough of the shunning and isolating. Enough of the legalistic control. Enough of the manipulation through fear and loss. Enough. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH! Things are not changing. Things are not better. Things remain so bad and now there appears to be truly mentally ill men in control. I find that I can no longer remain idle in the face of all I know and not try to do something more. As I've said before, who better than me to stand up in their face? I have absolutely nothing more they can take from me. They took my safety, security, family, money, support, and community from me long ago. What they did to me mentally is unspeakable but I'm willing to speak it. The abuse they heap on victims by shaming and guilting them into remaining quiet is nearly unforgivable. Who else would send rape victims back to their abusers and tell them to submit to more of it? Who else tells a battered wife or child to return to the battering and to be a better, Godly example to their abuser? Who removes people from their community who out of desperation have to do things they know are forbidden for their own safety? Think about that. Truly think about that. The abused, the desperate, the hurting, the destroyed, the helpless, the ones who simply have questions are effectively chopped off and thrown into their burn pile. How do they sleep at night? How do they look their "flock" in the eye? How do they pray to God and revel in their pious holiness? How? Because it isn't of God. It isn't Christian. It is the opposite of love. It's of men.. greedy, corrupt, power hungry men who manipulate through fear and loss and shunning to control "their" people. My own relatives have been responsible for countless acts of harm against people there. My relatives enacted these rules and dictated the terms of excommunication and how everyone would live in that community. My relatives are guilty of so much abuse. I feel a strong sense of responsibly to counter that with a love so fierce they will be unable to topple me. If there is one thing I have that is on equal with theirs, it's my stubborn refusal to back off from what I've come to know is right. I'm intelligent. I know how things work there. I've received abuse at their hands and continue to pay their price. They cut me off from their family tree but my roots have sunk deep and I've grown taller and stronger than they would have ever believed. They destroyed me and nearly cost me my life to suicide. Now, I'm fully alive and facing them with a love for all of you that's so big and so strong that I cannot lose. Their cruelty and abuse and their harboring of abusers MUST stop. Even the God they profess to love so much demands it stops and is atoned for. I think it's time for atonement to start. They have gone unchallenged for far too long and change will be demanded. Sorry if this sounded angry and overly aggressive. Lol. I'm literally excited and ready! No matter what happens, everything I have paid is more than worth it. The gatherings have given that knowledge to me. What I am doing makes every bit of my past worth it and I would do it all over again for any of you. Happy Monday!