Hw
The Kitchen
Posts: 1,190
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Post by Hw on Jul 6, 2022 14:40:02 GMT
This song hits me so hard. While the artist has different perspectives for this song.. parent/child relationship or older self/younger self reflection, for me it represents my relationship with my birth father. The casket is the death of the relationship in my story and I find such sadness for what could have been while listening.
I guess I'm a bit melancholy and introspective today as the podcast airs Part 1 tomorrow. The rumblings have begun and they haven't seen the full version. I'm preparing mentally for the battle ahead because it's one I must win and I'm feeling oh so small and powerless.
And then, I remember all of you! I am far from small and farther from powerless because I have an army at my back and by my side and protecting me from the front and above. There are those who actively watch for danger and tell me. Others pray over me. Others message support. Others share their awful stories with me and that's my fuel.
I am more than ready for anything that happens. Mud gets thrown?? Bring it because I have a story of redemption for that part of my journey! I failed at times?? Sure did.. refer to my redemption story. I made awful choices at times?? Yup, sure did and again, see my redemption story. My head will not hang low and I will not turn in shame.
I'm back and filled with love and the desire to expose the abusers and those that cover and hide them from the public. They gave me their own words that I intend to use. They themselves laid out how abusers must handle themselves. Their time is coming! The decades of known abuse that was NEVER reported. The knowledge they have and refuse to share. It's time to open some doors. I'm done trying to pry a window open.
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Post by AgnosticAgain on Jul 6, 2022 14:49:07 GMT
Here to support you, Heidi! Thank you for being the brave face that exposes the truth.
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Hw
The Kitchen
Posts: 1,190
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Post by Hw on Jul 6, 2022 14:55:50 GMT
Here to support you, Heidi! Thank you for being the brave face that exposes the truth. This support means EVERYTHING to me!
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Post by AgnosticAgain on Jul 6, 2022 15:45:15 GMT
Here to support you, Heidi! Thank you for being the brave face that exposes the truth. This support means EVERYTHING to me! 2 Timothy 1:7 - "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." Their power lies in silencing you. They lost that hold when they excommunicated and shunned you.
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Hw
The Kitchen
Posts: 1,190
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Post by Hw on Jul 6, 2022 15:56:56 GMT
This support means EVERYTHING to me! 2 Timothy 1:7 - "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." Their power lies in silencing you. They lost that hold when they excommunicated and shunned you. You could not have known how perfect your timing was with this message. Literally, and I mean literally, I was on my knees, in tears, terrified I would fail everyone here who needs help and needs a voice. Scared that I'm not eloquent enough or brave enough or loud enough. You are so very right and thank you with all my heart for your words. They were perfect
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Post by Feminist on Jul 9, 2022 15:06:52 GMT
Heidi, I just watched the podcast and sat in grief for you. I know you are past it, but I also know that, like you said very quickly, it stays with you. It will never leave you. You are brave and we do support you. I admire your persistence in telling your truths.
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Hw
The Kitchen
Posts: 1,190
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Post by Hw on Jul 9, 2022 19:49:34 GMT
Heidi, I just watched the podcast and sat in grief for you. I know you are past it, but I also know that, like you said very quickly, it stays with you. It will never leave you. You are brave and we do support you. I admire your persistence in telling your truths. Oh man. I don't feel brave, that's for sure but I feel like I just did a very big thing by releasing that podcast. Thank you so such for the support. I could not do it without all of you. It will come with a price and people will be outraged. I spoke my truth from my experience. If my truth makes them angry, it's OK. I'm angry over the abuse and devastation I hear about in my messages. That's all I need to know. it matters that I keep going. For those broken and hurting people, I will not stop. Eyes need to be opened in the parishioners. It's time they be allowed to think for themselves and to have the freedom to question anything they need to. I knew before the podcast was released that this would cost me any tiny chance of future reconciliations with my family of birth. I know they will only see me as vindictive, hateful, and going after their beloved church. What they just do not understand is that my love for them is so deep that I wish nothing more than for they and my sibling still there to break free and live life joyfully. For my family to be restored. For grace and love to grow as we relearn who we are. It could be so beautiful. But, I hold out no hope anymore for that. I chose to continue even knowing the fallout. You are all worth it. It's time to speak out.
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Post by questioneverything on Jul 9, 2022 22:36:14 GMT
Heidi, I just watched the podcast and sat in grief for you. I know you are past it, but I also know that, like you said very quickly, it stays with you. It will never leave you. You are brave and we do support you. I admire your persistence in telling your truths. Oh man. I don't feel brave, that's for sure but I feel like I just did a very big thing by releasing that podcast. Thank you so such for the support. I could not do it without all of you. It will come with a price and people will be outraged. I spoke my truth from my experience. If my truth makes them angry, it's OK. I'm angry over the abuse and devastation I hear about in my messages. That's all I need to know. it matters that I keep going. For those broken and hurting people, I will not stop. Eyes need to be opened in the parishioners. It's time they be allowed to think for themselves and to have the freedom to question anything they need to. I knew before the podcast was released that this would cost me any tiny chance of future reconciliations with my family of birth. I know they will only see me as vindictive, hateful, and going after their beloved church. What they just do not understand is that my love for them is so deep that I wish nothing more than for they and my sibling still there to break free and live life joyfully. For my family to be restored. For grace and love to grow as we relearn who we are. It could be so beautiful. But, I hold out no hope anymore for that. I chose to continue even knowing the fallout. You are all worth it. It's time to speak out. Let's put this to bed right now. You are brave! And, you give me courage.
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Hw
The Kitchen
Posts: 1,190
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Post by Hw on Jul 9, 2022 23:28:24 GMT
Oh man. I don't feel brave, that's for sure but I feel like I just did a very big thing by releasing that podcast. Thank you so such for the support. I could not do it without all of you. It will come with a price and people will be outraged. I spoke my truth from my experience. If my truth makes them angry, it's OK. I'm angry over the abuse and devastation I hear about in my messages. That's all I need to know. it matters that I keep going. For those broken and hurting people, I will not stop. Eyes need to be opened in the parishioners. It's time they be allowed to think for themselves and to have the freedom to question anything they need to. I knew before the podcast was released that this would cost me any tiny chance of future reconciliations with my family of birth. I know they will only see me as vindictive, hateful, and going after their beloved church. What they just do not understand is that my love for them is so deep that I wish nothing more than for they and my sibling still there to break free and live life joyfully. For my family to be restored. For grace and love to grow as we relearn who we are. It could be so beautiful. But, I hold out no hope anymore for that. I chose to continue even knowing the fallout. You are all worth it. It's time to speak out. Let's put this to bed right now. You are brave! And, you give me courage. And that makes every bit of it worth it! Be brave! We are all right here. We got you. This is what a family would look like if I could build it.
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