How to say goodbye

Good Boundaries & Goodbyes - Lysa Terkheurst: This is a fantastic book for anyone trying to figure out what to do about family/friends still in the cult who you aren't ready to disconnect from, but continually find yourself in conflict with them. It is possible to keep relationships if we restrict access to parts of our lives those people just won't leave alone. At the very least, it will help you understand that YOU control who has access to you. Another GREAT book by her is called Forgiving What You Can't Forget. Uproot the bitterness, take these people off YOUR hook and put them on GOD's hook - His consequences will be better than anything we could do, and you remove yourself as the conduit of pain in that person's abuse of you.  Trust me - it works. I escaped from a horrible marriage. The forgiveness book uprooted the bitterness I was holding and brought me so much joy and peace (guess what - bitterness hurts! We all know that feeling). Now, I am also still very involved in a court case against that man, doing everything I can to keep my child safe and get him a heavy sentence for what he's done. Forgiveness & boundaries are not about letting people off easy! It's about cleaning up your own heart so you are transforming the pain instead of transmitting it generationally like what is happening in the PR church. "The abuse stops with me!"

Here are some notable quotes from the book:

• We must not confuse the good commands to love and forgive with the bad realities of enabling and covering up things that are not honoring to God
  
  
• It's not unchristian to require people to treat you in healthy ways
• We must require from people the responsibility necessary to grant the amount of access we allow them to have in our lives.
• When we allow a boundary to be violated, bad behavior will be violated
• God had grace but His grace was there to lead people to better behavior, not to enable bad behavior
• "Things are better" is not the same as "things are healed".
• Your healing will bring out the emotional immaturity of those around you not willing to pursue health for themselves
• If we aren't convinced of how much a boundary will help us, we will be too afraid of what the boundary will cost us (IE: will this boundary cost me my entire life/family? MAYBE! But cutting off the toxicity of the PR church has brought me to a NEW life that is more beautiful than I ever could have imagined.)
• When those who inflict harm aren't horrified by it enough to get help so they don't do it again, they most likely WILL do it again
  
  
  

www.p31bookstore.com/products/good-boundaries-and-goodbyes

www.p31bookstore.com/collections/lysa-terkeurst-books-and-bible-studies/products/forgiving