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Post by questioneverything on Mar 10, 2022 0:43:02 GMT
I don’t think the elders are confusing these vows. This statement that they say that you are breaking a promise to adhere to the doctrines of the church is a common tactic they must be teaching elders to say to those leaving as multiple people in this forum have mentioned it. I married into the PRC and my wife grew up in it. When we decided to leave, after several meetings, I told the elders that we were going to join a church from a different reformed denomination. When they heard that from me, they physically turned away from me and cornered my wife, and said that line to her. I wish this forum existed when we went through it, because it would have been easier to know you just need to say you are leaving and not engage in arguments or reasons for leaving as it won’t make any difference. They are all following the same playbook of strong arm tactics, fear mongering, guilting, and shunning. B ut what I found is that they know that these tactics don’t work on someone who didn’t grow up in the PRC and it’s schools, so they focus harder on the spouse that did grow up in it. They try to create separation of the spouses by looking into the native PR spouse’s eyes and speaking the special PRisms and code phrases that have been programmed into them growing up in the church and school. What I have highlighted in oncer's post above IS a definition of spiritual abuse. The elders in that meeting were abusing their power as leaders in the church. Do not minimize this fact. The elders in that meeting were using religious belief to ridicule, manipulate, or shame the other spouse (the wife in this case) to control the member(s) into staying in the PR church. This tactic (to say you are breaking a promise to adhere to the doctrines of the PRC) is not just a tool....it is ABUSE. If you don't think pressure from leaders in a church to manipulate or shame members into staying in the organiztion is abuse then you too are part of the cult, cults use the power of position to manipulate members into staying. Elders should be educated in what constitutes spiritual abuse, another topic for an office bearers conference! It's not going to change. These tactics will continue, followed be Honor Shunnings, or if you adhere to The Mad Elder Dewey's definition of murder...followed by Honor Killings. These two sects deserve no respect.(They deserve each other). They're extremists; their Mullahs, I mean elders and ministers, should be treated as such. Same with their Madrassas, I mean schools, same with their Mosques, I mean churches. Same with their cultural rituals and demands I loathe extremism. This is not to call out members personally necessarily, but these sects collectively are dangerous and evil, and are extremists. Extremists! Fortunately, they are minuscule and prove to have little influence in the world. That doesn't help us on this site much though, does it? There are literally hundreds of pages describing pain, trauma, and cruelty on this site. The remedy? Come back to The Faith. If not, you are not worthy of fellowship. Don't you know, my PR honor requires this, my son, my daughter, my brother, my sister, my grandchild, my former loves. Extremism.
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Post by healing on May 7, 2022 12:30:21 GMT
Before or after the sermon, the minister requests those who intend to make public confession of their faith to arise and to reply to the following questions: Do you acknowledge the doctrine contained in the Old and New Testaments and in the Articles of the Christian faith and taught here in this Christian Church to be the true and complete doctrine of salvation? Have you resolved by the grace of God to adhere to this doctrine; to reject all heresies repugnant thereto and to lead a new, godly life? Will you submit to church government, and in case you should be delinquent (which may God graciously forbid) to church discipline? Your issue is VERY unfortunate and am a sorry you have to go through this hurtful. In the SB REV. MARTYN MC GEOWN on July 1, 2016 says, "The Trinity, the Incarnation of the Son of God, the bodily resurrection, and the existence of heaven and hell constitute articles of the Christian faith." By moving to a different denomination you are not abandoning your faith or denying your vows. Your vows were to God not the PRC, and for the elders to confuse them at this stage reveals much. I don’t think the elders are confusing these vows. This statement that they say that you are breaking a promise to adhere to the doctrines of the church is a common tactic they must be teaching elders to say to those leaving as multiple people in this forum have mentioned it. I married into the PRC and my wife grew up in it. When we decided to leave, after several meetings, I told the elders that we were going to join a church from a different reformed denomination. When they heard that from me, they physically turned away from me and cornered my wife, and said that line to her. I wish this forum existed when we went through it, because it would have been easier to know you just need to say you are leaving and not engage in arguments or reasons for leaving as it won’t make any difference. They are all following the same playbook of strong arm tactics, fear mongering, guilting, and shunning. But what I found is that they know that these tactics don’t work on someone who didn’t grow up in the PRC and it’s schools, so they focus harder on the spouse that did grow up in it. They try to create separation of the spouses by looking into the native PR spouse’s eyes and speaking the special PRisms and code phrases that have been programmed into them growing up in the church and school. Had a nearly identical experience to what everyone is describing. My profession of faith was put into question. (“I witnessed your profession of faith and now it seems you’re going back on that “) I did break down in tears but also explained that I was professing my faith in Jesus and that hadn’t changed. Same tactics used when my husband announced in one of our meetings that we intended to leave. Physically turned from him (not pr) to me and laid in thick with all the guilt / manipulation. Pastor looked straight at me and said “The sheep hear me and they know my voice”. (I guess to guilt me so that I would leave my husband???) It took me a long time to realize I did hear His voice and it wasn’t coming from those mouths. Thankful for the HS leading and protecting us from further damage. It truly is my rescue story and testimony of God caring for me in my lifelong pursuit of Him…and He of me. It would have helped so much to have known that a thing like spiritual abuse existed back then…I could have begun the healing journey sooner. It would have been so comforting to know I wasn’t alone and that I had experienced an abusers tactics. I wasted a lot of years fearful and worried that their words were true (not a sheep), even after we were out. Those kinds of wounds don’t just evaporate. Decades later reading John 10 still brings up painful memories. And it should be a passage of great comfort.
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Post by cannalily on May 7, 2022 12:56:41 GMT
I don’t think the elders are confusing these vows. This statement that they say that you are breaking a promise to adhere to the doctrines of the church is a common tactic they must be teaching elders to say to those leaving as multiple people in this forum have mentioned it. I married into the PRC and my wife grew up in it. When we decided to leave, after several meetings, I told the elders that we were going to join a church from a different reformed denomination. When they heard that from me, they physically turned away from me and cornered my wife, and said that line to her. I wish this forum existed when we went through it, because it would have been easier to know you just need to say you are leaving and not engage in arguments or reasons for leaving as it won’t make any difference. They are all following the same playbook of strong arm tactics, fear mongering, guilting, and shunning. But what I found is that they know that these tactics don’t work on someone who didn’t grow up in the PRC and it’s schools, so they focus harder on the spouse that did grow up in it. They try to create separation of the spouses by looking into the native PR spouse’s eyes and speaking the special PRisms and code phrases that have been programmed into them growing up in the church and school. Had a nearly identical experience to what everyone is describing. My profession of faith was put into question. (“I witnessed your profession of faith and now it seems you’re going back on that “) I did break down in tears but also explained that I was professing my faith in Jesus and that hadn’t changed. Same tactics used when my husband announced in one of our meetings that we intended to leave. Physically turned from him (not pr) to me and laid in thick with all the guilt / manipulation. Pastor looked straight at me and said “The sheep hear me and they know my voice”. (I guess to guilt me so that I would leave my husband???) It took me a long time to realize I did hear His voice and it wasn’t coming from those mouths. Thankful for the HS leading and protecting us from further damage. It truly is my rescue story and testimony of God caring for me in my lifelong pursuit of Him…and He of me. It would have helped so much to have known that a thing like spiritual abuse existed back then…I could have begun the healing journey sooner. It would have been so comforting to know I wasn’t alone and that I had experienced an abusers tactics. I wasted a lot of years fearful and worried that their words were true (not a sheep), even after we were out. Those kinds of wounds don’t just evaporate. Decades later reading John 10 still brings up painful memories. And it should be a passage of great comfort. These people are master manipulators. It's so horrible. They use the bible to THEIR advantage, not for the soul. Looking back now, I wish I could have told them what I'd say to them if I saw them today. I would have ripped them a new one. ...and it's not "bitterness". It's pure anger for what they are doing to my entire family on a day to day basis. I'm not bitter in life - but I'll definitely point out this cult every time I get a chance.
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Post by AgnosticAgain on May 8, 2022 6:59:55 GMT
Before or after the sermon, the minister requests those who intend to make public confession of their faith to arise and to reply to the following questions: Do you acknowledge the doctrine contained in the Old and New Testaments and in the Articles of the Christian faith and taught here in this Christian Church to be the true and complete doctrine of salvation? Have you resolved by the grace of God to adhere to this doctrine; to reject all heresies repugnant thereto and to lead a new, godly life? Will you submit to church government, and in case you should be delinquent (which may God graciously forbid) to church discipline? Your issue is VERY unfortunate and am a sorry you have to go through this hurtful. In the SB REV. MARTYN MC GEOWN on July 1, 2016 says, "The Trinity, the Incarnation of the Son of God, the bodily resurrection, and the existence of heaven and hell constitute articles of the Christian faith." By moving to a different denomination you are not abandoning your faith or denying your vows. Your vows were to God not the PRC, and for the elders to confuse them at this stage reveals much. Many of the elders believe that the vows ARE made to the prca. It does reveal much, it reveals the thought process is akin to a cult and sound basic understanding of true Christian faith is not found in the leadership. Perhaps the prca should have a conference addressing the true nature of the profession of faith, baptism, and membership papers. Not only would many elders learn something , perhaps ministers would as well. The tyrannical cruel verbal lie of “abandoning your faith or denying your vow” is a tactic used by many prcs. A terrible cruel lie. I'm now realizing that pressuring young people to make their profession of faith so young is by design of the leaders. Before they have too much real world experience at college or a job etc. Before they get enough distance from the PRC indoctrination by school, church and community to give these things critical thought and work out their personal doubts and questions. Get them to confess their faith while they're young enough and they are locked in. Then they can be scared in staying with threats about their personal salvation and breaking vows to God. The leaders don't even have to do much work anymore, most make their confession because of peer pressure. The system is in place and it perpetuates itself. God has blessed us because we have the truth, they will say. That is why our churches are filled with young people. Uh huh. Fear is a powerful motivator, one of the best in fact.
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Post by prnolonger on May 8, 2022 11:46:55 GMT
Many of the elders believe that the vows ARE made to the prca. It does reveal much, it reveals the thought process is akin to a cult and sound basic understanding of true Christian faith is not found in the leadership. Perhaps the prca should have a conference addressing the true nature of the profession of faith, baptism, and membership papers. Not only would many elders learn something , perhaps ministers would as well. The tyrannical cruel verbal lie of “abandoning your faith or denying your vow” is a tactic used by many prcs. A terrible cruel lie. I'm now realizing that pressuring young people to make their profession of faith so young is by design of the leaders. Before they have too much real world experience at college or a job etc. Before they get enough distance from the PRC indoctrination by school, church and community to give these things critical thought and work out their personal doubts and questions. Get them to confess their faith while they're young enough and they are locked in. Then they can be scared in staying with threats about their personal salvation and breaking vows to God. The leaders don't even have to do much work anymore, most make their confession because of peer pressure. The system is in place and it perpetuates itself. God has blessed us because we have the truth, they will say. That is why our churches are filled with young people. Uh huh. Fear is a powerful motivator, one of the best in fact. I have the same outlook.
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Post by Skyfall on May 8, 2022 12:08:43 GMT
Many of the elders believe that the vows ARE made to the prca. It does reveal much, it reveals the thought process is akin to a cult and sound basic understanding of true Christian faith is not found in the leadership. Perhaps the prca should have a conference addressing the true nature of the profession of faith, baptism, and membership papers. Not only would many elders learn something , perhaps ministers would as well. The tyrannical cruel verbal lie of “abandoning your faith or denying your vow” is a tactic used by many prcs. A terrible cruel lie. I'm now realizing that pressuring young people to make their profession of faith so young is by design of the leaders. Before they have too much real world experience at college or a job etc. Before they get enough distance from the PRC indoctrination by school, church and community to give these things critical thought and work out their personal doubts and questions. Get them to confess their faith while they're young enough and they are locked in. Then they can be scared in staying with threats about their personal salvation and breaking vows to God. The leaders don't even have to do much work anymore, most make their confession because of peer pressure. The system is in place and it perpetuates itself. God has blessed us because we have the truth, they will say. That is why our churches are filled with young people. Uh huh. Fear is a powerful motivator, one of the best in fact. This. All of this.
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Post by fellowhuman on May 8, 2022 12:14:23 GMT
Many of the elders believe that the vows ARE made to the prca. It does reveal much, it reveals the thought process is akin to a cult and sound basic understanding of true Christian faith is not found in the leadership. Perhaps the prca should have a conference addressing the true nature of the profession of faith, baptism, and membership papers. Not only would many elders learn something , perhaps ministers would as well. The tyrannical cruel verbal lie of “abandoning your faith or denying your vow” is a tactic used by many prcs. A terrible cruel lie. I'm now realizing that pressuring young people to make their profession of faith so young is by design of the leaders. Before they have too much real world experience at college or a job etc. Before they get enough distance from the PRC indoctrination by school, church and community to give these things critical thought and work out their personal doubts and questions. Get them to confess their faith while they're young enough and they are locked in. Then they can be scared in staying with threats about their personal salvation and breaking vows to God. The leaders don't even have to do much work anymore, most make their confession because of peer pressure. The system is in place and it perpetuates itself. God has blessed us because we have the truth, they will say. That is why our churches are filled with young people. Uh huh. Fear is a powerful motivator, one of the best in fact. I remember having arguments with my parents about confession of faith. They thought that if I didn't make it, I had to have a specific and public problem with the church. I thought that promises should not be made lightly, that I didn't have enough knowledge to make that decision, that I can only promise to believe something until another idea convinces me, etc. It always makes me remember being a kid in a national park and being told I could have their little medal if I made a pledge to always protect the national parks. All the other kids didn't think it was a big deal. I couldn't promise to defend the national parks because I didn't know what circumstances would surround their encroachment/dissolution. I didn't know much about the world. How could I be expected to promise something like that? In my little kid heart, I actually felt that what all the other kids were doing was wrong and resented the fact that they got rewarded for it. At the time, I also had been told that vows were for specific legal and church circumstances. The fact that my parents would let their kids flippantly make a vow was very surprising to me. I know I took it all too seriously, but I still think that if vows mean something more than "goals while resolve lasts" then there is basically no long-term vow that can be honestly made. I eventually made my confession of faith, but I had private reservations about it from the start. I think it's more likely a relic of the time when most people around were different varieties of Reformed Christian and there wasn't much defection, and the promise was just a rite of passage. I do wonder when the "taught here in this Christian church to be the true and complete doctrine of salvation" came in. Or maybe the "submit to church government, and in the case that you should become delinquent, which God may graciously forbid, to church discipline" (I'm doing this off the top of my head so the lines might be a bit off). I think the promise is basically just a rite of passage for Reformed churches, like a Bar Mitzvah or... yeah, that's the only one I know, actually. Now that people go between communities and churches more fluidly, the confession of faith is anachronistic but very useful to hold over people's heads. I don't actually know the history, though.
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Post by AgnosticAgain on May 8, 2022 16:35:13 GMT
I'm now realizing that pressuring young people to make their profession of faith so young is by design of the leaders. Before they have too much real world experience at college or a job etc. Before they get enough distance from the PRC indoctrination by school, church and community to give these things critical thought and work out their personal doubts and questions. Get them to confess their faith while they're young enough and they are locked in. Then they can be scared in staying with threats about their personal salvation and breaking vows to God. The leaders don't even have to do much work anymore, most make their confession because of peer pressure. The system is in place and it perpetuates itself. God has blessed us because we have the truth, they will say. That is why our churches are filled with young people. Uh huh. Fear is a powerful motivator, one of the best in fact. I remember having arguments with my parents about confession of faith. They thought that if I didn't make it, I had to have a specific and public problem with the church. I thought that promises should not be made lightly, that I didn't have enough knowledge to make that decision, that I can only promise to believe something until another idea convinces me, etc. It always makes me remember being a kid in a national park and being told I could have their little medal if I made a pledge to always protect the national parks. All the other kids didn't think it was a big deal. I couldn't promise to defend the national parks because I didn't know what circumstances would surround their encroachment/dissolution. I didn't know much about the world. How could I be expected to promise something like that? In my little kid heart, I actually felt that what all the other kids were doing was wrong and resented the fact that they got rewarded for it. At the time, I also had been told that vows were for specific legal and church circumstances. The fact that my parents would let their kids flippantly make a vow was very surprising to me. I know I took it all too seriously, but I still think that if vows mean something more than "goals while resolve lasts" then there is basically no long-term vow that can be honestly made. I eventually made my confession of faith, but I had private reservations about it from the start. I think it's more likely a relic of the time when most people around were different varieties of Reformed Christian and there wasn't much defection, and the promise was just a rite of passage. I do wonder when the "taught here in this Christian church to be the true and complete doctrine of salvation" came in. Or maybe the "submit to church government, and in the case that you should become delinquent, which God may graciously forbid, to church discipline" (I'm doing this off the top of my head so the lines might be a bit off). I think the promise is basically just a rite of passage for Reformed churches, like a Bar Mitzvah or... yeah, that's the only one I know, actually. Now that people go between communities and churches more fluidly, the confession of faith is anachronistic but very useful to hold over people's heads. I don't actually know the history, though. I felt the same way and didn't make confession when my church peers did. Your view as a child on the park pledge showed a deep level of thoughtfulness, a rare and lovely quality.
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Post by freestuff on May 8, 2022 17:09:41 GMT
I remember having arguments with my parents about confession of faith. They thought that if I didn't make it, I had to have a specific and public problem with the church. I thought that promises should not be made lightly, that I didn't have enough knowledge to make that decision, that I can only promise to believe something until another idea convinces me, etc. It always makes me remember being a kid in a national park and being told I could have their little medal if I made a pledge to always protect the national parks. All the other kids didn't think it was a big deal. I couldn't promise to defend the national parks because I didn't know what circumstances would surround their encroachment/dissolution. I didn't know much about the world. How could I be expected to promise something like that? In my little kid heart, I actually felt that what all the other kids were doing was wrong and resented the fact that they got rewarded for it. At the time, I also had been told that vows were for specific legal and church circumstances. The fact that my parents would let their kids flippantly make a vow was very surprising to me. I know I took it all too seriously, but I still think that if vows mean something more than "goals while resolve lasts" then there is basically no long-term vow that can be honestly made. I eventually made my confession of faith, but I had private reservations about it from the start. I think it's more likely a relic of the time when most people around were different varieties of Reformed Christian and there wasn't much defection, and the promise was just a rite of passage. I do wonder when the "taught here in this Christian church to be the true and complete doctrine of salvation" came in. Or maybe the "submit to church government, and in the case that you should become delinquent, which God may graciously forbid, to church discipline" (I'm doing this off the top of my head so the lines might be a bit off). I think the promise is basically just a rite of passage for Reformed churches, like a Bar Mitzvah or... yeah, that's the only one I know, actually. Now that people go between communities and churches more fluidly, the confession of faith is anachronistic but very useful to hold over people's heads. I don't actually know the history, though. I felt the same way and didn't make confession when my church peers did. Your view as a child on the park pledge showed a deep level of thoughtfulness, a rare and lovely quality. I remember viewing confession of faith as a rite passage, I didn’t really put that much thought into it. Another thing to remember is teenagers are often highly motivated to make confession of faith because it’s basically graduation from catechism (hooray…I’m free on Monday nights now!) It was never mentioned to me it was a vow that can be used against you later on. In retrospect it feels like a team of lawyers getting me to sign something knowing darn well I don’t have my own legal counsel – kind of like that. Want to go to a different church? Nope, you made a vow. Want to send you kids to a public school? Nope, you made a baptismal vow.
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Post by questioneverything on May 8, 2022 19:44:32 GMT
I felt the same way and didn't make confession when my church peers did. Your view as a child on the park pledge showed a deep level of thoughtfulness, a rare and lovely quality. I remember viewing confession of faith as a rite passage, I didn’t really put that much thought into it. Another thing to remember is teenagers are often highly motivated to make confession of faith because it’s basically graduation from catechism (hooray…I’m free on Monday nights now!) It was never mentioned to me it was a vow that can be used against you later on. In retrospect it feels like a team of lawyers getting me to sign something knowing darn well I don’t have my own legal counsel – kind of like that. Want to go to a different church? Nope, you made a vow. Want to send you kids to a public school? Nope, you made a baptismal vow. Profession of faith, confession of faith is a clinching fist. Some are honest and true, so many more expected and ritualistic. Religion...go figure.
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Post by AgnosticAgain on May 8, 2022 20:25:33 GMT
I felt the same way and didn't make confession when my church peers did. Your view as a child on the park pledge showed a deep level of thoughtfulness, a rare and lovely quality. I remember viewing confession of faith as a rite passage, I didn’t really put that much thought into it. Another thing to remember is teenagers are often highly motivated to make confession of faith because it’s basically graduation from catechism (hooray…I’m free on Monday nights now!) It was never mentioned to me it was a vow that can be used against you later on. In retrospect it feels like a team of lawyers getting me to sign something knowing darn well I don’t have my own legal counsel – kind of like that. Want to go to a different church? Nope, you made a vow. Want to send you kids to a public school? Nope, you made a baptismal vow. Good point about catechism. Definitely a plus to be done with that.
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Post by psalterscribbles on Jun 4, 2022 18:15:28 GMT
I was trying to find the right thread to put this on. But one of the only arguments that was said against me leaving was that I was breaking the confession of faith I made when I was younger. This is because "when I made it I promised to adhere to the doctrines of the church". Now that I am going to a church with a different belief on a lot of these main doctrines I have "broken my confession of faith". This obviously hurts because I am Christian and still hold fast to my confession of faith. I wonder if this has been said to/used against anyone else?Yep. Me. They likened it to a marriage vow. If I left I would be breaking the promise I made in front of my friends and family that I would believe and adhere. Because of my confession of faith, I'm not allowed to leave with a clean conscience and I must submit to church discipline, not leave, and drop my inquiries that was causing me to doubt. It's why they they pressure you so hard to make the confession of faith before you go to college. They control your entire education for birth to end of high school. Once you're exposed to the outside, it's risking exposure that might make you question the group. They even use peer pressure to make you do it with a bunch of your friends. Normalize attending other PR churches at night services to go see your friends do it. You'll even get cake and soda! It's a big party with all your friends! The minister will, in front of all your friends and family, talk about how proud he is of you, how you're such a special person to God for doing this, how the world hates it and hates you, but in here we love you. Outside bad. Inside good. Outside hate. Inside love. It's just a control mechanism. So are the "papers" that come along with the confession. Very cult-y stuff. I still remember my legs shaking and hands sweating during my confession of faith. Despite the fact that I was already doubting the existence of God, I was certain I was witnessing a battle for my soul. I knew what I was signing up for, and said yes anyway. Those "papers" still have power over me.
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Post by fellowhuman on Jun 4, 2022 18:47:44 GMT
Yep. Me. They likened it to a marriage vow. If I left I would be breaking the promise I made in front of my friends and family that I would believe and adhere. Because of my confession of faith, I'm not allowed to leave with a clean conscience and I must submit to church discipline, not leave, and drop my inquiries that was causing me to doubt. It's why they they pressure you so hard to make the confession of faith before you go to college. They control your entire education for birth to end of high school. Once you're exposed to the outside, it's risking exposure that might make you question the group. They even use peer pressure to make you do it with a bunch of your friends. Normalize attending other PR churches at night services to go see your friends do it. You'll even get cake and soda! It's a big party with all your friends! The minister will, in front of all your friends and family, talk about how proud he is of you, how you're such a special person to God for doing this, how the world hates it and hates you, but in here we love you. Outside bad. Inside good. Outside hate. Inside love. It's just a control mechanism. So are the "papers" that come along with the confession. Very cult-y stuff. I still remember my legs shaking and hands sweating during my confession of faith. Despite the fact that I was already doubting the existence of God, I was certain I was witnessing a battle for my soul. I knew what I was signing up for, and said yes anyway. Those "papers" still have power over me. I remember being hypersensitive to thoughts of doubt and temptation for a few weeks after confession of faith because I was sure "the devil would work really hard on me now". A really hyper-inflated sense of my own importance, in retrospect.
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Post by questioneverything on Aug 19, 2022 19:12:23 GMT
I’ve shared my story before but I’ll gladly share it again, especially if it will help anyone who is in a similar situation. I was born and raised in the PRC. As a child I was the perfect PR kid, singing psalter songs in the car and totally brainwashed into their beliefs. It wasn’t until I was around 15 that I started seeing this church for who they really were. It was mainly because I saw how my sister was treated. She was in an abusive marriage and it was mishandled by the minister and elders. She was told to stay with her husband and give him what he wanted sexually to make him happy and things would be better then. That they would build an apartment for him in their basement so they didn’t have to get divorced. Because she was the one to file for divorce, she was excommunicated and he could stay. She was abused but the abuser was still welcome to come to church. Let me say that one more time. The abuser was welcomed with open arms while the abused was kicked to the curb! I saw my whole extended family dismiss her. Told her because of her decision in getting a divorce they no longer considered her part of the family. She was shunned. Her and her 4 kids had no support from anyone…because she was abused and left. I knew then that I wanted out but I was only 15/16 years old, where would I go? What if I was shunned? High school sucked. I felt like an outsider. I made a lot of bad choices as a way of rebellion, a cry for help. No one was there to help though. Instead I was called names, had my car egged and just made to feel different. No one knew what was going on in my home life, maybe if they did it would have been different. I started making a plan then. I had a job once I turned 15 and saved money so that by the time I graduated from CCHS I moved out with a friend of mine from outside the church. The elders came to our apartment 3 times to talk to me. They told me I was making a mistake and that my future children would burn in hell because they would not be baptized in the PRC church. They made so many threats to me and I was too afraid to stand up to them and tell them to leave. I was thankful for my roommate who finally came out and kicked them out of our place and told them to never come back. She gave them an earful about how messed up they were. I am so thankful for her, she did something I could have never done because I was taught to be submissive and respectful to my elders. I am thankful for her showing me how crazy their actions were. I’m going to be honest. Leaving was very very hard. I am 41 now and left that place when I was 18/19 years old. I went through a very dark time for a couple years after I left. I had no family in my life, I was shunned and I turned to drugs to help me cope. Thankfully after a few years I was able to come out of it and get help. I can’t stress enough how much therapy has helped to deal with growing up in a place like that. I am now happy married with amazing kids who will never have to be damaged by that church. There is hope out there, no matter how scary it is to leave, it’s the best decision you can make. It might not be easy at first but it gets so so much better. Life is amazing once you are free from their grasp!!! The PRC world is not a good, safe, welcoming place. It is damaging and will tear apart peoples lives to save their good image. This is not normal. I used to think the PR’s were such a big community, it was my whole world. Once I got out I realized how small and insignificant they actually are. How crazy their teachings actually are. There is a big, beautiful, loving place outside the PR circle. You just need to open your eyes to the wickedness going on inside your own world in order to actually see how dangerous it is. If you decide to stay then you need to do something to demand a change for how the PRCA is run. How it treats its woman. How it covers up abuse and defends their perfect ministers over the young girls. This church is an old school, abusive, and damaging religion. It’s not too late to make a change and get out. Please please open your eyes. If you feel like something is not being handled properly then speak up. Woman need to start speaking up!! You have a voice but it’s the PRC that is trying to shut you down! We hear you and are here for you! You are not alone and have help here if you need it. Because it needs to be read again. Haven't heard from enlightened in awhile. Hope all is good and this is a sign of her increasing strength.
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Post by maggie on Sept 20, 2022 16:48:39 GMT
I’ve shared my story before but I’ll gladly share it again, especially if it will help anyone who is in a similar situation. I was born and raised in the PRC. As a child I was the perfect PR kid, singing psalter songs in the car and totally brainwashed into their beliefs. It wasn’t until I was around 15 that I started seeing this church for who they really were. It was mainly because I saw how my sister was treated. She was in an abusive marriage and it was mishandled by the minister and elders. She was told to stay with her husband and give him what he wanted sexually to make him happy and things would be better then. That they would build an apartment for him in their basement so they didn’t have to get divorced. Because she was the one to file for divorce, she was excommunicated and he could stay. She was abused but the abuser was still welcome to come to church. Let me say that one more time. The abuser was welcomed with open arms while the abused was kicked to the curb! I saw my whole extended family dismiss her. Told her because of her decision in getting a divorce they no longer considered her part of the family. She was shunned. Her and her 4 kids had no support from anyone…because she was abused and left. I knew then that I wanted out but I was only 15/16 years old, where would I go? What if I was shunned? High school sucked. I felt like an outsider. I made a lot of bad choices as a way of rebellion, a cry for help. No one was there to help though. Instead I was called names, had my car egged and just made to feel different. No one knew what was going on in my home life, maybe if they did it would have been different. I started making a plan then. I had a job once I turned 15 and saved money so that by the time I graduated from CCHS I moved out with a friend of mine from outside the church. The elders came to our apartment 3 times to talk to me. They told me I was making a mistake and that my future children would burn in hell because they would not be baptized in the PRC church. They made so many threats to me and I was too afraid to stand up to them and tell them to leave. I was thankful for my roommate who finally came out and kicked them out of our place and told them to never come back. She gave them an earful about how messed up they were. I am so thankful for her, she did something I could have never done because I was taught to be submissive and respectful to my elders. I am thankful for her showing me how crazy their actions were. I’m going to be honest. Leaving was very very hard. I am 41 now and left that place when I was 18/19 years old. I went through a very dark time for a couple years after I left. I had no family in my life, I was shunned and I turned to drugs to help me cope. Thankfully after a few years I was able to come out of it and get help. I can’t stress enough how much therapy has helped to deal with growing up in a place like that. I am now happy married with amazing kids who will never have to be damaged by that church. There is hope out there, no matter how scary it is to leave, it’s the best decision you can make. It might not be easy at first but it gets so so much better. Life is amazing once you are free from their grasp!!! The PRC world is not a good, safe, welcoming place. It is damaging and will tear apart peoples lives to save their good image. This is not normal. I used to think the PR’s were such a big community, it was my whole world. Once I got out I realized how small and insignificant they actually are. How crazy their teachings actually are. There is a big, beautiful, loving place outside the PR circle. You just need to open your eyes to the wickedness going on inside your own world in order to actually see how dangerous it is. If you decide to stay then you need to do something to demand a change for how the PRCA is run. How it treats its woman. How it covers up abuse and defends their perfect ministers over the young girls. This church is an old school, abusive, and damaging religion. It’s not too late to make a change and get out. Please please open your eyes. If you feel like something is not being handled properly then speak up. Woman need to start speaking up!! You have a voice but it’s the PRC that is trying to shut you down! We hear you and are here for you! You are not alone and have help here if you need it. Because it needs to be read again. Haven't heard from enlightened in awhile. Hope all is good and this is a sign of her increasing strength. Thank you so much enlightened for sharing this. You are so right!!! WE DO NOT DOX HERE. I am appalled at their behavior. They worry too much about what other people (PR) think. They need to tell parents to not shun family!!!!
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